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I wasn't told to have my toes pointed out...they just naturally go there. Somehow, I manage to get my whole leg on Tango even with the toes pointed out.
Try this, the next time you're on your horse. Sit there, and experiment. Where are your legs when your toes are waaaaay out? A bit out? Straight? Heels pointed out? That exercise helped me understand what was happening to my knees...when my toes were out, my knees were out, too. When my toes were straight, my knees laid in the right spot. 'Course, when my toes were straight, I felt like I was pigeon-toed, but that's what it is.
As for the rolling of the ankle, put more weight in your heels. Not in your ankles, not on your toes...in your heels. If you're balanced in the saddle, you can have all your weight in your heels, and you can't roll your ankle without it throwing everything off above it.
Try this at home. Stand up straight, and roll one ankle out. Feel what it does to the hips, the back, the shoulder - see how it drops everything in the direction of the roll. Roll both heels out at the same time. See how that rocks you back and/or forward? Now, put imaginary bricks on your heels. Get all your weight on your heels. Try to roll one ankle without taking any weight off your heel. Can't do it. The bones/ligaments will take the heel sideways, and that means your weight is now on the outside of your ankles. Which, for me, hurts a lot. LOL.
When riding, I don't lift my toes, I sink down from my shoulders into my heels. I stand in the stirrups, and sit slowly down from my shoulders. What I find happens then is that sometimes, I come up a bit in the saddle - or rather, it's not my fat a$$ holding all my weight in the saddle; my weight does go down my legs into my heels...and if I can remember to do that when Tango's actually moving, it helps keep my heels down, and weight cues are more easily accomplished without me sliding around uptop on the saddle.
Give those two experiments a try, and see what I mean. And then, take some time the next time you're riding to see how your weight shift affects your horse...when you move this way, what does she do? That way, what's her response? You don't even have to be moving at much more than a slow amble...she'll shift under you to rebalance herself, and will teach you what happens when you have a bit more weight one side or the other...but take the time, and see what happens. It's very subtle, but it's amazing when you do it right...
And also, bear in mind that I might be able to do it on the ground or while slow ambling along, but I have lots of trouble when he's cantering doing the weight shifts...especially if my knees and ankles are outward bound...LOL...
And yes, it looks far easier on TV than in real life. But it's ever so much more fun to do it than sit on the sofa and watch, you know? Good on you for working hard...
Best-
Noni
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 Apparently, I have a warped sense of humor. "Who knew?"
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