Pure Jealousy

**divinemisselle** · 09-30-2007, 08:39 PM

Shaman is now 16 months old. Still a colt, gelding to be scheduled for when he's around 3yo.

I'll admit, being Lakota's full brother, I was smitten with him the moment he was born. The more time passes, the more I see the similarities in the two boys. Scary, uncanny.

But he is unique in many ways.

I will also admit, I spend way too much time with him. There are days that I am literally out there with him for hours!

Grooming, training, grazing, walking together, anything to be with him, to run my hands over him, to look into his immense eyes.

But in doing so, I fear that I have created a monster! He is incredibly jealous of me working another horse. Which poses a problem around here. I have other horses that I ride, other horses in various stages of training, etc.

I had one of the mares in the stall a while back, doing her feet. The side gate of the barn was open, allowing him into the run in area, just out side the stall door. He heard me in there, cheating on him with another horse, and tried coming over the door! It is six feet tall, and almost made it over the top to get to me! I had to shoosh him out and close the barn door.

Today, I had Gandalf in the stall, grooming and ground work. Outside the barn Shaman is pitching a fit! Pawing at and trying to come over the gate to get in the barn. Kicking the barn walls to let me know of his displeasure of being in there with his Daddy. Pathetic.

Now, this colt will do anything I ask, and go over and beyond any expectations. He is ridiculously willing and witty. At 16 months old, he is longing in surcingle and side reins, getting ready to ground drive. I have to continue being really creative in his training, he moves along so quickly and needs constant challenge.

But, being as irresistable as he is, I spend way too much time with him, and his actions show it.

How can I force myself to not go out there and be with him?

**gbarmranch** · 09-30-2007, 08:42 PM

You can't - but you can tie him up so he learns to "share" you nicely..

**divinemisselle** · 09-30-2007, 08:44 PM

I tried that, tying him.

He untied himself, all four times in a row.

Futile.

He really is rotten. Smart, but rotten.

**Diamond_Y** · 09-30-2007, 08:53 PM

You have your hands full!

snickers · 09-30-2007, 09:17 PM

I had to laugh at this. Sorry

Is it a mustang thing?
OT will do the same thing. He cant stand it when we are with another horse and he will push hisself in the way or try and push the other horse away.

What to do? I dont have a clue.

xcjmpr · 09-30-2007, 09:21 PM

Child psychology 101:
When a child throws a temper tantrum, he is seeking paternal attention. By attending to child, you are rewarding that behavior, no matter how negative. Child then learns that in order to receive desired attention, he merely has to throw a tantrum. Even if parent scolds child, child still gets attention and therefore "wins" and parent inadvertently has encouraged "tantrum" behavior.

Ignore the tantrums, completely. Instead, pick random times to give attention to child, when child is not expecting attention and while child is behaving appropriately. Child will then learn that attention does not come from tantrums.

**divinemisselle** · 09-30-2007, 09:28 PM

I know, and I do ignore him! Or retrieve him after he's undid the slip knot for the umpteenth time.

I really do not try to encourage his behaviour. I continue with what horse I'm working with and ignore him.

But I cannot resist those long hours with him, when it is his time. He just thinks all the time is his time!

You come over, meet him, and tell me you can resist ! I double dog dare you!

jules1962 · 09-30-2007, 09:30 PM

It is a horse thing, they are like toddlers, my brother sister duo, Misty (28), Majesty (25), will trot away from me if I want to do something with them, until I pay attention to the other one and then I have two under foot.

xcjmpr · 09-30-2007, 09:44 PM

Oh, every last one of mine are jealous of each other. The 2 that share a paddock & run-in are the worst. "Mr Personality" will not let the sweetie-pie stand anwhere near the shed when I'm around, flat chases her away. He used to bang on the stall door if my attention was turned elsewhere, then he lost his stall priveledges. He's a finicky eater & hard keeper, so I was still bringing him in for food only, but he started getting pushy again, so he eats outside, even if it's cold & raining. He wants to hate me for being such a mean mom, but he can't hate me b/c no one else will feed him & he knows it. We now have rules firmly in place. He goes and stands by his bucket and waits, quietly. If he gets pissy, I don't come out with food until he settles down, then I do not touch him or talk to him, just dump the grain & walk away. It's made him a more patient horse, although admittedly he still has his issues b/c I can be a sucker, too.

double dog, huh? Bring it...

**gbarmranch** · 10-01-2007, 04:52 AM

I have met him - sigh.. He is hard to resisit..

Your other option is to sell or ignore all the other horses you own...

joustinggirl · 10-01-2007, 05:09 AM

My favorite horse of all time was jealous of anything that was close to me. Horse or human. He could not stand my boyfriend at the time. (hubby now) It was alittle bit of a pain, but not much and it made our riding partnership very good. It has been unmatched by any horses I have owned since. Really kinda sad, he was the first horse I trained myself. I was 12 or 13 and he was a bottle baby.

Carri · 10-01-2007, 07:36 AM

I don't think you need to limit the time you spend with him, or try to "resist" him! Spend that time with him, but just ignore him when you are working with another horse. Do you have somewhere you can put him farther away when you have another horse in the barn?
And most importantly, those special horses do not come along that often, enjoy him!

xcjmpr · 10-01-2007, 09:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gbarmranch

Your other option is to sell or ignore all the other horses you own...

Ooh, I didn't even think of that one...great advise Gbar. DM you can start w/Gandolf. I'll take him off your hands so you can spend more time w/Shaman.

leadmare · 10-01-2007, 09:56 AM

No advice here, you have created your own shadow

I just want PICTURES!!

roberts617 · 10-01-2007, 11:06 AM

I definitely have no advice, guess you will just have to cater to his jealousy!

Silly spoiled horses! I may have 1 or 2 of those myself.

horses-n-greyhoundz · 10-01-2007, 11:29 AM

I understand completely. I have five horses in all. Right now, I am spending almost all of my time with River, my 2 1/2 year old. But, the bond we a developing is something I wouldn't trade anything in the world for!

**gbarmranch** · 10-01-2007, 11:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xcjmpr

Ooh, I didn't even think of that one...great advise Gbar. DM you can start w/Gandolf. I'll take him off your hands so you can spend more time w/Shaman.

Ah, great minds think alike - and that lovely yearling filly, her TB mare.. I have a list..

xcjmpr · 10-01-2007, 11:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gbarmranch

Ah, great minds think alike - and that lovely yearling filly, her TB mare.. I have a list..

haha, DM better lock her gates or she might wake one morning to find a few less horses

...Gbar, I'll fight ya for that filly

Besides, she's way more eventer type

No, better yet...you go ahead & take her and I'll come pick her up when she's 3

**gbarmranch** · 10-01-2007, 11:39 AM

True, true, and we are leasing her TB mare next spring to cross on Joe anyways... maybe she just won't find her way back to KY...

xcjmpr · 10-01-2007, 11:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gbarmranch

True, true, and we are leasing her TB mare next spring to cross on Joe anyways... maybe she just won't find her way back to KY...

oops, I was editing when you posted

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09-30-2007, 08:39 PM
divinemisselle Super Moderator Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Central Kentucky Posts: 6,661	Pure Jealousy Shaman is now 16 months old. Still a colt, gelding to be scheduled for when he's around 3yo. I'll admit, being Lakota's full brother, I was smitten with him the moment he was born. The more time passes, the more I see the similarities in the two boys. Scary, uncanny. But he is unique in many ways. I will also admit, I spend way too much time with him. There are days that I am literally out there with him for hours! Grooming, training, grazing, walking together, anything to be with him, to run my hands over him, to look into his immense eyes. But in doing so, I fear that I have created a monster! He is incredibly jealous of me working another horse. Which poses a problem around here. I have other horses that I ride, other horses in various stages of training, etc. I had one of the mares in the stall a while back, doing her feet. The side gate of the barn was open, allowing him into the run in area, just out side the stall door. He heard me in there, cheating on him with another horse, and tried coming over the door! It is six feet tall, and almost made it over the top to get to me! I had to shoosh him out and close the barn door. Today, I had Gandalf in the stall, grooming and ground work. Outside the barn Shaman is pitching a fit! Pawing at and trying to come over the gate to get in the barn. Kicking the barn walls to let me know of his displeasure of being in there with his Daddy. Pathetic. Now, this colt will do anything I ask, and go over and beyond any expectations. He is ridiculously willing and witty. At 16 months old, he is longing in surcingle and side reins, getting ready to ground drive. I have to continue being really creative in his training, he moves along so quickly and needs constant challenge. But, being as irresistable as he is, I spend way too much time with him, and his actions show it. How can I force myself to not go out there and be with him? __________________ . If Everything Seems to Be Going Right... You Have Obviously Overlooked Something. ~Steven Wright

09-30-2007, 08:42 PM
gbarmranch Administrator Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Mayberry Posts: 29,575	You can't - but you can tie him up so he learns to "share" you nicely.. __________________ Quality Foundation Quarter Horses http://home.earthlink.net/~vpgann As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point in the wrong direction.

09-30-2007, 08:44 PM
divinemisselle Super Moderator Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Central Kentucky Posts: 6,661	I tried that, tying him. He untied himself, all four times in a row. Futile. He really is rotten. Smart, but rotten. __________________ . If Everything Seems to Be Going Right... You Have Obviously Overlooked Something. ~Steven Wright

09-30-2007, 08:53 PM
Diamond_Y Administrator Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: North Texas Posts: 3,802	You have your hands full! __________________ Diamond Y Quarter Horses - Breeders of Quality Foundation Quarter Horses Home of King of Cooke County, 2004 Perlino son of Cooke County ETC

09-30-2007, 09:17 PM
snickers Bombproof Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Twilight Zone Posts: 8,989	I had to laugh at this. Sorry Is it a mustang thing? OT will do the same thing. He cant stand it when we are with another horse and he will push hisself in the way or try and push the other horse away. What to do? I dont have a clue. __________________ " You cant fix stupid " Ron White Life is to short to argue with ignorant people.

09-30-2007, 09:21 PM
xcjmpr Yearling Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Kentucky Posts: 920	Child psychology 101: When a child throws a temper tantrum, he is seeking paternal attention. By attending to child, you are rewarding that behavior, no matter how negative. Child then learns that in order to receive desired attention, he merely has to throw a tantrum. Even if parent scolds child, child still gets attention and therefore "wins" and parent inadvertently has encouraged "tantrum" behavior. Ignore the tantrums, completely. Instead, pick random times to give attention to child, when child is not expecting attention and while child is behaving appropriately. Child will then learn that attention does not come from tantrums.

09-30-2007, 09:28 PM
divinemisselle Super Moderator Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Central Kentucky Posts: 6,661	I know, and I do ignore him! Or retrieve him after he's undid the slip knot for the umpteenth time. I really do not try to encourage his behaviour. I continue with what horse I'm working with and ignore him. But I cannot resist those long hours with him, when it is his time. He just thinks all the time is his time! You come over, meet him, and tell me you can resist ! I double dog dare you! __________________ . If Everything Seems to Be Going Right... You Have Obviously Overlooked Something. ~Steven Wright

09-30-2007, 09:30 PM
jules1962 Long Yearling Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Georgia Posts: 1,017	It is a horse thing, they are like toddlers, my brother sister duo, Misty (28), Majesty (25), will trot away from me if I want to do something with them, until I pay attention to the other one and then I have two under foot. __________________ Scarlett, AQHA Rescue 2008 Bones, Grade QH Rescue 2006 Midnight RIP, my best friend

09-30-2007, 09:44 PM
xcjmpr Yearling Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Kentucky Posts: 920	Oh, every last one of mine are jealous of each other. The 2 that share a paddock & run-in are the worst. "Mr Personality" will not let the sweetie-pie stand anwhere near the shed when I'm around, flat chases her away. He used to bang on the stall door if my attention was turned elsewhere, then he lost his stall priveledges. He's a finicky eater & hard keeper, so I was still bringing him in for food only, but he started getting pushy again, so he eats outside, even if it's cold & raining. He wants to hate me for being such a mean mom, but he can't hate me b/c no one else will feed him & he knows it. We now have rules firmly in place. He goes and stands by his bucket and waits, quietly. If he gets pissy, I don't come out with food until he settles down, then I do not touch him or talk to him, just dump the grain & walk away. It's made him a more patient horse, although admittedly he still has his issues b/c I can be a sucker, too. double dog, huh? Bring it...

10-01-2007, 04:52 AM
gbarmranch Administrator Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Mayberry Posts: 29,575	I have met him - sigh.. He is hard to resisit.. Your other option is to sell or ignore all the other horses you own... __________________ Quality Foundation Quarter Horses http://home.earthlink.net/~vpgann As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point in the wrong direction.

10-01-2007, 05:09 AM
joustinggirl Greenbroke Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Boones Mill, Virgina Posts: 3,392	My favorite horse of all time was jealous of anything that was close to me. Horse or human. He could not stand my boyfriend at the time. (hubby now) It was alittle bit of a pain, but not much and it made our riding partnership very good. It has been unmatched by any horses I have owned since. Really kinda sad, he was the first horse I trained myself. I was 12 or 13 and he was a bottle baby. __________________ Pink Tiger says \'Grrrrrr\'

10-01-2007, 07:36 AM
Carri Bombproof Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Alpharetta, Georgia Posts: 10,610	I don't think you need to limit the time you spend with him, or try to "resist" him! Spend that time with him, but just ignore him when you are working with another horse. Do you have somewhere you can put him farther away when you have another horse in the barn? And most importantly, those special horses do not come along that often, enjoy him! __________________

10-01-2007, 09:56 AM
leadmare Long Yearling Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Virginia Posts: 1,099	No advice here, you have created your own shadow I just want PICTURES!! __________________ *When a man's ways please the Lord, He makes even his enemies to be at peace with him. Proverbs 16:7*

10-01-2007, 11:06 AM
roberts617 Kid Safe Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Central Oklahoma Posts: 5,152	I definitely have no advice, guess you will just have to cater to his jealousy! Silly spoiled horses! I may have 1 or 2 of those myself. __________________ He who never made a mistake never made a discovery! Samuel Smiles

10-01-2007, 11:29 AM
horses-n-greyhoundz Long Yearling Join Date: May 2005 Location: North Central Arkansas Posts: 1,121	I understand completely. I have five horses in all. Right now, I am spending almost all of my time with River, my 2 1/2 year old. But, the bond we a developing is something I wouldn't trade anything in the world for! __________________ If you can't be a good example -- then you'll just have to be a horrible warning. My house is where I live, but I'm at home in the saddle.

10-01-2007, 11:39 AM
gbarmranch Administrator Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Mayberry Posts: 29,575	True, true, and we are leasing her TB mare next spring to cross on Joe anyways... maybe she just won't find her way back to KY... __________________ Quality Foundation Quarter Horses http://home.earthlink.net/~vpgann As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point in the wrong direction.