Annoyed at my instructor

Martha89 · 07-22-2007, 07:53 PM

Tonight I was scheduled for a lesson at 6:30. I had my horse all tacked up and ready to go. No instructor. I wait for 45 minutes. No instructor. She never showed, never called. This is the second time this week this has happened. Also, she NEVER returns my calls; I always have to call her about half a dozen times before I finally get her on her cell. She has NEVER showed up on time, and twice has cancelled our lesson about 30 minutes before she is supposed to be here.

The thing is, I really like her as an instructor. The few lessons we have had have made a world of difference in my horse and my riding. She is a very knowledgeable and accomplished rider. She is a wonderful teacher to both horse and rider, and she does not charge an arm and a leg for private lessons like every other instructor I have checked out. She is relatively new to this area, so I would think that she would be doing everything she can to promote herself and her training business. Wouldn't this include SHOWING UP? Or calling? I just don't get it. Isn't reputation and word of mouth everything in the training business?

I don't know what to do. Should I let her know how annoyed I am? I really am not a very confrontational person; I usually just let things go. But my horse and I need instruction on a consistent basis! What would you do?

Eagles Nest · 07-22-2007, 08:40 PM

I would ask her if she has other commitments that are keeping her from keeping her appointments, and ask politely if she thinks you should find another instructor. Make it clear your time is valuable too...Heck, I charge my kids if they don't show up,,,jst like they actually had a lesson, but I don't know what you do when you're the one paying...Guess she doesn't need the money that bad???

Carri · 07-22-2007, 08:43 PM

I agree with Eagles Nest, you really need to talk to her. I would phrase it nicely, since you do not like confrontation (me either!). I would be really sweet but a little sarcastic, if it were me. Something along the lines of, are you sure it is not too much trouble to give me riding lessons? I don't want to inconvenience you or anything!

b-mark · 07-23-2007, 12:24 PM

I like Carri's approach!

No seriously though, you should talk to her - tell her exactly what you've said in your post - that you very much like her as an instructor but that you need to be able to count on her showing up on time (or at all).

Thoroughbredlover · 07-23-2007, 12:47 PM

I talk to her or even maybe email her, that way you can plan your words in writing and don't say anything you should'nt.

**divinemisselle** · 07-23-2007, 01:01 PM

As an instructor, if my student is a no show/no call they are invoiced for 100% the cost of the lesson. Cancellations without 24 hours notice are invoiced at 75% the cost. Lateness is taken off their time. Exceptions are assessed on an individual basis. I understand that there are emergencies. Such is the way of life, and I'm still human, too!

And my policy is reciprocal, therefore if I am late, I stay late. If I would no show/no call, the next lesson is free, same goes for me cancelling with less than 24 hours notice.

In this day and age of cell phones, there is absolutely NO EXCUSE for repeated no show/no calls! What a great way to build a bad reputation in the business. Somehow I can see her clientele dwindeling, and quickly.

I wouldn't tolerate it one bit. You're paying for her services. She who has the money has the power.

Martha89 · 07-23-2007, 09:07 PM

Thanks, everyone, for your two cents! Today the instructor called me

and apologized for her no show. She did not offer a detailed explanation, just generally said that things were hectic for her.

She did say, however, that my next lesson is free

and we went ahead and scheduled it. I asked her if she would call and confirm that she is coming the day of the lesson, and she agreed. I feel better, I guess. We'll see what happens.

ricoman · 07-24-2007, 01:46 PM

As an instructor myself, I charge full price for any student that didn't call to cancel a lesson and like wise, if I've had to cancel at the last minute the student gets a free lesson. Let your instructor know that your time is as important as hers, she'll respect you for it.

Martha89 · 08-12-2007, 09:14 PM

I got stood up. AGAIN. Last week my instructor showed up (only 20 minutes late) and we had a great lesson. So, when we scheduled for our next one she said, "Let's switch to mornings so it's cooler and we don't risk the thunderstorms." Me: "Great, I can do Sunday or Monday mornings." Her: "Okay, how about Sunday at 10:30?" Me: "Great!" Then, later in the conversation she said, "Okay, I'll see you next Monday at 10:30." Me:

"No, we said SUNDAY at 10:30!" Her: "Oh, yeah, I mean Sunday." So, this morning I am ready and waiting (although I listened to my gut instinct and held off on tacking up my horse), and sure enough, no instructor. I call and leave her a polite but clear message that I am not a happy camper. No return call all day. I call AGAIN and leave a message that I would appreciate a call to know IF and when she is coming. I still have not heard back from her, so I have no idea if I should bother waiting around to see if she shows up tomorrow. I am so dissapointed and angry. I know you are reading this and shaking your head thinking, why doesn't she just give up and find another instructor? The thing is private instruction, even on your own horse, in this area is ridiculously expensive. Her rates are affordable, and she really is one of the best teachers I have ever had: WHEN SHE SHOWS UP!!! I'm sorry to rant, but I can't believe that any professional trying build up a clientele would be so unreliable. Does anyone else have this problem with an instructor?

RollingThunder · 08-13-2007, 03:56 PM

Maybe some frank discussion about things, not so much in a confrontational manner, but in a solution oriented manner could help.

I had that problem with a farrier. He was good, and a good quiet hand with horses, and really worked with the horses to make the trimming and shoeing a non-issue with the newbies, and to get the best foot on all four corners for the horse.

Turned out he didn't have a whole lot of money, and was starting out, traveling all over the state in a beat-up truck just trying to make it work based on some of his contacts from rodeoing and horsetrading. We have an abundance of farriers around here, so prices are reasonable. His were just silly low for such good work. And you couldn't help but like the guy.

So I talked to him about it, and told him that as much as we loved how he was with our horses, and how he listened to us and trimmed them up exactly like we wanted them, we couldn't have someone who is hit or miss about contacts and appointments. At least, call us. He said he's been having some problems, overhead was more than he expected starting out, his shoeing gear had been stolen (which was actually true, he showed me what he was able to beg off of buddies so he could at least keep going, and hodge-podge was the best way to describe it), and a few other things.

So when we could, we made sure to pay him extra here and there (heck, he's half of what another farrier I tried was paid, and is every bit as good). I even paid him for a farrier bill he got stiffed on by someone else. I can afford it, and he can't, and frankly, I'd rather he be able to afford to keep coming out our way and trimming our horses.

I also started doing my best to drum up some business for him (this guy's a good kid, just busting his butt, ya know?), got him a 20 trim and 2 shoe at a breeding barn a friend owns, which then hooked him up with a few other people, and that grew even bigger, and got him a little more steady in his work. He just needed a break.

Now, he's really thinking business, but also can actually afford to make a better go of it. He's young, and his reputation is growing, and people really like him. And recently, he got into doing the trim work for a more well-known performance farrier because he is so keen on a) learning and b) listening.

So, just talk to this person when you can, and if you can. And be frank, but think solutions. Maybe they just need someone in their corner too, as a wake-up call.

SunnyKS · 08-13-2007, 04:29 PM

well since you made it clear to her you were upset about it and she was again a no show I really think the ball is in your court now.

Is she worth the fustration and loss of your time? If she is then keep making appt. with her and just know it's going to be like this.

If she's not then I would start shopping around.

My thought is when you factor in all your lost time is a different more expensive person really all that expensive? If you cut back your lessons to half with the more expensive person then you don't have the head ache/wasted time of no shows and you would still be getting the same amount of lessons (or more) your getting now with all the hit or miss. Know what I mean?

JoAnne · 08-13-2007, 04:35 PM

Her behaviour is unusual and not professional. don't expect it to change. late/irresponsible people don't change in my long experience!! she could have a substance abuse problem or something making her do that. much as you like her, I'd find another instructor. only other choice is call her 2 hours before the lesson that day. but again, people with problem personalities cause chaos and can't keep their commitments kind of no matter what you do. in the end, they let you down. one day she will pack up and leave and not give any notices sounds like that kind of person to me!!

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07-22-2007, 07:53 PM
Martha89 Halter broke Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Pennsylvania Posts: 81	Annoyed at my instructor Tonight I was scheduled for a lesson at 6:30. I had my horse all tacked up and ready to go. No instructor. I wait for 45 minutes. No instructor. She never showed, never called. This is the second time this week this has happened. Also, she NEVER returns my calls; I always have to call her about half a dozen times before I finally get her on her cell. She has NEVER showed up on time, and twice has cancelled our lesson about 30 minutes before she is supposed to be here. The thing is, I really like her as an instructor. The few lessons we have had have made a world of difference in my horse and my riding. She is a very knowledgeable and accomplished rider. She is a wonderful teacher to both horse and rider, and she does not charge an arm and a leg for private lessons like every other instructor I have checked out. She is relatively new to this area, so I would think that she would be doing everything she can to promote herself and her training business. Wouldn't this include SHOWING UP? Or calling? I just don't get it. Isn't reputation and word of mouth everything in the training business? I don't know what to do. Should I let her know how annoyed I am? I really am not a very confrontational person; I usually just let things go. But my horse and I need instruction on a consistent basis! What would you do?

07-22-2007, 08:40 PM
Eagles Nest Long Yearling Join Date: May 2007 Location: Ohio Posts: 1,021	I would ask her if she has other commitments that are keeping her from keeping her appointments, and ask politely if she thinks you should find another instructor. Make it clear your time is valuable too...Heck, I charge my kids if they don't show up,,,jst like they actually had a lesson, but I don't know what you do when you're the one paying...Guess she doesn't need the money that bad??? __________________ You earn your blue ribbons at home, you just pick them up at shows!

07-22-2007, 08:43 PM
Carri Bombproof Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Alpharetta, Georgia Posts: 10,608	I agree with Eagles Nest, you really need to talk to her. I would phrase it nicely, since you do not like confrontation (me either!). I would be really sweet but a little sarcastic, if it were me. Something along the lines of, are you sure it is not too much trouble to give me riding lessons? I don't want to inconvenience you or anything! __________________

07-23-2007, 12:24 PM
b-mark Yearling Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 700	I like Carri's approach! No seriously though, you should talk to her - tell her exactly what you've said in your post - that you very much like her as an instructor but that you need to be able to count on her showing up on time (or at all). __________________ Gina & the critter crew http://www.sunshine.gawdproductions.ca

07-23-2007, 12:47 PM
Thoroughbredlover Halter broke Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: The Sunshine State Posts: 133	I talk to her or even maybe email her, that way you can plan your words in writing and don't say anything you should'nt. __________________ "A horse already knows how to be a horse; the rider has to learn how to become a rider. A horse without a rider is still a horse; though a rider without a horse is no longer a rider." ~ A wise horseman

07-23-2007, 01:01 PM
divinemisselle Super Moderator Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Central Kentucky Posts: 6,657	As an instructor, if my student is a no show/no call they are invoiced for 100% the cost of the lesson. Cancellations without 24 hours notice are invoiced at 75% the cost. Lateness is taken off their time. Exceptions are assessed on an individual basis. I understand that there are emergencies. Such is the way of life, and I'm still human, too! And my policy is reciprocal, therefore if I am late, I stay late. If I would no show/no call, the next lesson is free, same goes for me cancelling with less than 24 hours notice. In this day and age of cell phones, there is absolutely NO EXCUSE for repeated no show/no calls! What a great way to build a bad reputation in the business. Somehow I can see her clientele dwindeling, and quickly. I wouldn't tolerate it one bit. You're paying for her services. She who has the money has the power. __________________ . If Everything Seems to Be Going Right... You Have Obviously Overlooked Something. ~Steven Wright

07-23-2007, 09:07 PM
Martha89 Halter broke Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Pennsylvania Posts: 81	Update Thanks, everyone, for your two cents! Today the instructor called me and apologized for her no show. She did not offer a detailed explanation, just generally said that things were hectic for her. She did say, however, that my next lesson is free and we went ahead and scheduled it. I asked her if she would call and confirm that she is coming the day of the lesson, and she agreed. I feel better, I guess. We'll see what happens.

07-24-2007, 01:46 PM
ricoman Weanling Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Central Kentucky Posts: 440	As an instructor myself, I charge full price for any student that didn't call to cancel a lesson and like wise, if I've had to cancel at the last minute the student gets a free lesson. Let your instructor know that your time is as important as hers, she'll respect you for it. __________________ Resistance is Futile

08-12-2007, 09:14 PM
Martha89 Halter broke Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Pennsylvania Posts: 81	Update I got stood up. AGAIN. Last week my instructor showed up (only 20 minutes late) and we had a great lesson. So, when we scheduled for our next one she said, "Let's switch to mornings so it's cooler and we don't risk the thunderstorms." Me: "Great, I can do Sunday or Monday mornings." Her: "Okay, how about Sunday at 10:30?" Me: "Great!" Then, later in the conversation she said, "Okay, I'll see you next Monday at 10:30." Me: "No, we said SUNDAY at 10:30!" Her: "Oh, yeah, I mean Sunday." So, this morning I am ready and waiting (although I listened to my gut instinct and held off on tacking up my horse), and sure enough, no instructor. I call and leave her a polite but clear message that I am not a happy camper. No return call all day. I call AGAIN and leave a message that I would appreciate a call to know IF and when she is coming. I still have not heard back from her, so I have no idea if I should bother waiting around to see if she shows up tomorrow. I am so dissapointed and angry. I know you are reading this and shaking your head thinking, why doesn't she just give up and find another instructor? The thing is private instruction, even on your own horse, in this area is ridiculously expensive. Her rates are affordable, and she really is one of the best teachers I have ever had: WHEN SHE SHOWS UP!!! I'm sorry to rant, but I can't believe that any professional trying build up a clientele would be so unreliable. Does anyone else have this problem with an instructor?

08-13-2007, 03:56 PM
RollingThunder Halter broke Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Princeville, IL Posts: 128	Maybe some frank discussion about things, not so much in a confrontational manner, but in a solution oriented manner could help. I had that problem with a farrier. He was good, and a good quiet hand with horses, and really worked with the horses to make the trimming and shoeing a non-issue with the newbies, and to get the best foot on all four corners for the horse. Turned out he didn't have a whole lot of money, and was starting out, traveling all over the state in a beat-up truck just trying to make it work based on some of his contacts from rodeoing and horsetrading. We have an abundance of farriers around here, so prices are reasonable. His were just silly low for such good work. And you couldn't help but like the guy. So I talked to him about it, and told him that as much as we loved how he was with our horses, and how he listened to us and trimmed them up exactly like we wanted them, we couldn't have someone who is hit or miss about contacts and appointments. At least, call us. He said he's been having some problems, overhead was more than he expected starting out, his shoeing gear had been stolen (which was actually true, he showed me what he was able to beg off of buddies so he could at least keep going, and hodge-podge was the best way to describe it), and a few other things. So when we could, we made sure to pay him extra here and there (heck, he's half of what another farrier I tried was paid, and is every bit as good). I even paid him for a farrier bill he got stiffed on by someone else. I can afford it, and he can't, and frankly, I'd rather he be able to afford to keep coming out our way and trimming our horses. I also started doing my best to drum up some business for him (this guy's a good kid, just busting his butt, ya know?), got him a 20 trim and 2 shoe at a breeding barn a friend owns, which then hooked him up with a few other people, and that grew even bigger, and got him a little more steady in his work. He just needed a break. Now, he's really thinking business, but also can actually afford to make a better go of it. He's young, and his reputation is growing, and people really like him. And recently, he got into doing the trim work for a more well-known performance farrier because he is so keen on a) learning and b) listening. So, just talk to this person when you can, and if you can. And be frank, but think solutions. Maybe they just need someone in their corner too, as a wake-up call. __________________ "I mean, with Jose Feliciano, you got no complaints."

08-13-2007, 04:29 PM
SunnyKS Greenbroke Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Kansas Posts: 3,516	well since you made it clear to her you were upset about it and she was again a no show I really think the ball is in your court now. Is she worth the fustration and loss of your time? If she is then keep making appt. with her and just know it's going to be like this. If she's not then I would start shopping around. My thought is when you factor in all your lost time is a different more expensive person really all that expensive? If you cut back your lessons to half with the more expensive person then you don't have the head ache/wasted time of no shows and you would still be getting the same amount of lessons (or more) your getting now with all the hit or miss. Know what I mean? __________________

08-13-2007, 04:35 PM
JoAnne Started Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Florida Posts: 2,442	Her behaviour is unusual and not professional. don't expect it to change. late/irresponsible people don't change in my long experience!! she could have a substance abuse problem or something making her do that. much as you like her, I'd find another instructor. only other choice is call her 2 hours before the lesson that day. but again, people with problem personalities cause chaos and can't keep their commitments kind of no matter what you do. in the end, they let you down. one day she will pack up and leave and not give any notices sounds like that kind of person to me!!