HELP!! Encouragement Needed - UPDATE

ahlihaff · 08-05-2008, 08:27 AM

Here I go again. My trainer just called to tell me he's bringing his horse over, and we're going on a trail ride. After our round pen exercises, I'll be riding Ahliver and he'll ride Red Cloud into the field where my wreck happened. Then we'll switch horses, and I'll ride Red Cloud.

I've been riding Ahliver in the round pen and more recently in the yard, but have not been on a trail since mid-May when the wreck occurred.

My stomach is sick. My anxiety level is off the chart. I hate it that I feel this way. I feel like crying, and that makes me feel like a big, whiny baby.

I almost wish another personality would emerge - an assertive, confident me that would make this yucky feeling go away.

Thanks for reading.

short_kid · 08-05-2008, 08:31 AM

Deep breath, you can do this. Take your time and if anytime you feel you are not ready stop. Your trainer feels you can do this. You know you can do this. Then when you are done and all went well, we can celebrate

Freedomnchrist · 08-05-2008, 08:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by short_kid

Deep breath, you can do this. Take your time and if anytime you feel you are not ready stop. Your trainer feels you can do this. You know you can do this. Then when you are done and all went well, we can celebrate

Great advice. I could not have said it better.

**gbarmranch** · 08-05-2008, 08:39 AM

Have to agree with the above posters.. your trainer knows the horses and knows your riding level and skills - if the trainer thinks you are ready, then you are...

Sometimes we all get mired in our comfort zone, and are reluctant to step outside it.. I think you have been ready for a while, and your trainer is just giving you the little nudge you need to know it too...

You will do wonderfully - and be smiling ear to ear, and thrilled that you did this once you have finished your ride..

redboy · 08-05-2008, 08:40 AM

Think POSITIVE, You CAN DO THIS

. It's just a trail ride, it's NO different than being in your yard.
IF you go into it feeling negative, you are setting yourself up.
Whatever happened last time, PLAN / HAVE a STRATEGY in place for it THIS time.
Don't do anything more than a walk.
Deepen your seat, put your weight in your legs and heels DOWN, RELAX..., you will transmit YOUR nervousness to your horse otherwise. DO IT!! RB

Good Luck

Carri · 08-05-2008, 08:40 AM

You can do it!! Just try really hard to take deep breaths and not let Ahliver know how nervous you are!

lottie · 08-05-2008, 08:49 AM

Just keep at it !! I had a bad fall/injury . The first ~ 10 rides I had to get right back off to puke after just getting on -LOLOLOL--- Then after we walked off - same thing - But does get better . I also did the " rapid eye movement" and also lots of the visualization exercises . Right now a friend is going thru the same thing after 3 falls 1 right after the other ( she WAS OVERHORSED)
This is a normal fear - many many many feel this-just keep working thru it with your trainer . I also went on the internet and talked a lot. Borrow as bomproof horse as you can get to get some confidance back - if you need it have some one lead you from the ground on a trail ride as many times as it takes to get a good feeling back . Been there -trail rideing now .

Scouts Willows Ridge · 08-05-2008, 08:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ahlihaff

Here I go again. My trainer just called to tell me he's bringing his horse over, and we're going on a trail ride. After our round pen exercises, I'll be riding Ahliver and he'll ride Red Cloud into the field where my wreck happened. Then we'll switch horses, and I'll ride Red Cloud.

I've been riding Ahliver in the round pen and more recently in the yard, but have not been on a trail since mid-May when the wreck occurred.

My stomach is sick. My anxiety level is off the chart. I hate it that I feel this way. I feel like crying, and that makes me feel like a big, whiny baby.

I almost wish another personality would emerge - an assertive, confident me that would make this yucky feeling go away.

Thanks for reading.

Hi This is what I do when I get nervous, which happens alot, I talk to my horse Scout almost through the whole ride, good boy you can do this and I can do this, etc. People probably think I am crazy but it keeps my breathing in check and my nervousness doesnt transfer to my horse, a little parrellie tip I learned. It really works for me. Enjoy your ride, LS

tuffsmom · 08-05-2008, 08:53 AM

You can do it. Deep breaths and have a great time.

redboy · 08-05-2008, 08:59 AM

ScoutsWillowRidge,
I do the same thing. I talk in a low voice, I sing/hum to my horse and it not only makes me more relaxed, it REALLY tunes him into my voice and gives my horse confidence and reassurance. Great Strategy. RB

BklynCwgrl · 08-05-2008, 09:10 AM

I know exactly how you feel. I think I told you that when I first started riding my mare, Hope, I wanted to throw up for hours before I knew I was going to ride her. And I would find excuses after excuses to get out of it. But I did it...enough times to finally build my confidence up...

There were certain things she did that I swear she KNEW scared me...like she would start to prance and I would think she was going to run away with me. Well... I practiced cantering and this taught me that in the unlikely event that she DID run away with me, that I could stay on her and keep my balance. I also finally realized that I COULD STOP her...she never did run away with me.

Then last weekend the icing on the cake: I was on my way home after separating from my riding buddy...and we ran into two other riders. Usually Hope gets nuts when we run into strange horses...but this day she actually passed them by quite nicely. However, after we passed them it's like she went ohhhhh we just ran into strange horses...and then she started her prancing routine!!! Of course I started to get a little nervous...BUT...I thought "what would Dennis do?" (Dennis is my husband/trainer). And so...I started putting her in shoulder in/haunches in...this causes her to put her prancing to good use! And I was totally proud of myself cause I could feel her crossing over just like she was supposed to...which means I did it right.

And...within a few minutes she settled right down.

Soooo the point is...it's okay to be nervous...the deal is...ride anyway! And soon you will realize that you can actually handle whatever your horse throws at you!

cook1745 · 08-05-2008, 09:14 AM

I feel for you!!! Good luck and I hope all goes great and each time you have more and more cnfidences!!!

lottie · 08-05-2008, 09:17 AM

Yep...I used singing too , and I am tone deaf . My sister would yell "Stop that !! " But it helps so I kept it up .

sandy42345 · 08-05-2008, 09:18 AM

Goo luck. You can do this. Just talk to your horse. Think happy thoughts.

rm185western · 08-05-2008, 09:22 AM

Nursery rhymes help a lot

I sing them out loud, helps me breathe and gives the horse something to concentrate on rather looking for scary things, if you have heard me sing you'll understand.

I know how you're feeling, you can work through this.

KrisRN2005 · 08-05-2008, 09:29 AM

oh boy,how I know what you are feeling

. I had a horrible riding accident on my 4 year old SWB, she didn't do anything wrong it was an "accident" she simply lost her footing. well I ended up with several broken bones and lost my confidence to ride her in the fall as well

.
I recovered physically but the emotional toll was more than I had anticipated. I'm 39yrs old and boy did those broken bones hurt!
Anyway the advice you have already been given is great, I too am back in the saddle and although I am only W/T for now as she is a total powerhouse, I cried with excitement knowing I had made a small stride to getting back what I love the most, being with my horses!
I too talk and sing when I start to feel like I'm tightening up and she focuses on me....
I have faith in you, trust your gut instinct, when you need to stop do so, when you think you can be pushed a bit more listen to your trainer and know they have your best interest at heart.
Slowly the baby steps turn into wonderful strides and before long this place and feeling won't be there. And you will be off on the trails!

ahlihaff · 08-05-2008, 01:02 PM

Thank you all for your encouraging words and understanding of my feelings.

As it turns out, we spent so much time in the round pen and the yard, we didn't get too far on a trail - just up to a small field (not the "wreck" field), BUT it was a good experience and helpful.

On top of getting past my anxiety (which I don't feel in the round pen), I'm learning a different way to ride than how I was taught six years ago. So I'm needing to concentrate on many different things at once: relaxing, paying close attention to Ahliver's state of mind (very important), as well as remember to do the newly learned method. This trainer has emphasized over and over the importance of communicating with Ahliver - not the horse, but his body parts so he KNOWS I am driving the bus, not him (move a hq here, move his shoulder over there, lots of bends, etc.). At any rate, I feel good about how it went and hope to get further out on a trail next week.

Meanwhile I'll practice the above all week and will keep in mind the excellent suggestions you all offered.

You all are the BEST!!

redboy · 08-05-2008, 01:18 PM

Congratulations!! I knew you could do it

.
Just practice a proper seat and lower leg position and that will keep you in the saddle. I took flying lessons and most all that you practice is, How to METHODICALLY THINK your way thru an emergency. Then, ALL the FEAR is removed and what you have is a REHEARSED PROGRAM/ CHECKLIST in your mind as to what to do in an emergency. It really helps to know that if you can't control the horse, you CAN CONTROL you on the horse.
Everyone has fear, it's natural. You have to program yourself to have a CALM response to your fears, and ALWAYS have a strategy in place.
Keep up the good work!! Redboy

WiggyBug · 08-05-2008, 03:29 PM

I am really glad you posted. I haven't been riding all that long - about a year and a half, and I just bought my 7 yo gelding in January. Buggsy has relieved me of my seat a couple of times - not bucking, but spooking suddenly to the side - and I have gotten hurt.

We are supposed to go horse camping next week but I am getting nervous about riding him. I thought we had gotten over the big spookies and that he was settled with me now, up until the last episode on Sunday. Anyway, from reading all these posts, I see I am not the only one to be tossed and nervous about getting "back in the saddle". It is just part of the life. I've gotta put on my big girl panties and deal with it. And pack some vet wrap for me!

Help!

redboy · 08-06-2008, 07:05 AM

WiggyBug,
I was reading your post here and my horse USED to do the same thing. It was like he would Drop his left shoulder and spin to the right SOO fast, he would slam me into the front of my saddle, HARD. OUCH

!!
What I started doing, was ANTICIPATING that move, b/c it was ALWAYS the same move, same reaction, same direction, etc. And when I would feel him tense up, I would lightly tap his left shoulder (the one he would always drop) with the crop to remind him, NO, STAND and then WALK forward. Face the scary object.
It really did not take that long for him to realize that I was now a step ahead of him, and he was going to get more than a tap with the crop if he didn't stand and face the thing that was scaring him.
That was ALL I was asking for, not to turn tail and run, but to STAND and face that scary thing. He got over it pretty quickly once he realized that I was on top of that move.
Of course, then, they ALWAYS have a new move waiting to spring on you

!! RB

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08-05-2008, 08:27 AM
ahlihaff Greenbroke Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Western MA Posts: 3,635	HELP!! Encouragement Needed - UPDATE Here I go again. My trainer just called to tell me he's bringing his horse over, and we're going on a trail ride. After our round pen exercises, I'll be riding Ahliver and he'll ride Red Cloud into the field where my wreck happened. Then we'll switch horses, and I'll ride Red Cloud. I've been riding Ahliver in the round pen and more recently in the yard, but have not been on a trail since mid-May when the wreck occurred. My stomach is sick. My anxiety level is off the chart. I hate it that I feel this way. I feel like crying, and that makes me feel like a big, whiny baby. I almost wish another personality would emerge - an assertive, confident me that would make this yucky feeling go away. Thanks for reading. Last edited by ahlihaff : 08-05-2008 at 01:03 PM.

08-05-2008, 08:31 AM
short_kid Started Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: michigan Posts: 2,066	Deep breath, you can do this. Take your time and if anytime you feel you are not ready stop. Your trainer feels you can do this. You know you can do this. Then when you are done and all went well, we can celebrate __________________ Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.

08-05-2008, 08:39 AM
gbarmranch Administrator Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Tennessee Posts: 29,233	Have to agree with the above posters.. your trainer knows the horses and knows your riding level and skills - if the trainer thinks you are ready, then you are... Sometimes we all get mired in our comfort zone, and are reluctant to step outside it.. I think you have been ready for a while, and your trainer is just giving you the little nudge you need to know it too... You will do wonderfully - and be smiling ear to ear, and thrilled that you did this once you have finished your ride.. __________________ Quality FoundationQuarter Horses http://home.earthlink.net/~vpgann Minds are like parachutes – they only function when open – Thomas Dewar

08-05-2008, 08:40 AM
redboy Yearling Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Eastern Shore of Maryland Posts: 943	Think POSITIVE, You CAN DO THIS. It's just a trail ride, it's NO different than being in your yard. IF you go into it feeling negative, you are setting yourself up. Whatever happened last time, PLAN / HAVE a STRATEGY in place for it THIS time. Don't do anything more than a walk. Deepen your seat, put your weight in your legs and heels DOWN, RELAX..., you will transmit YOUR nervousness to your horse otherwise. DO IT!! RB Good Luck

08-05-2008, 08:40 AM
Carri Bombproof Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Alpharetta, Georgia Posts: 10,086	You can do it!! Just try really hard to take deep breaths and not let Ahliver know how nervous you are! __________________

08-05-2008, 08:49 AM
lottie Newborn Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 10	Just keep at it !! I had a bad fall/injury . The first ~ 10 rides I had to get right back off to puke after just getting on -LOLOLOL--- Then after we walked off - same thing - But does get better . I also did the " rapid eye movement" and also lots of the visualization exercises . Right now a friend is going thru the same thing after 3 falls 1 right after the other ( she WAS OVERHORSED) This is a normal fear - many many many feel this-just keep working thru it with your trainer . I also went on the internet and talked a lot. Borrow as bomproof horse as you can get to get some confidance back - if you need it have some one lead you from the ground on a trail ride as many times as it takes to get a good feeling back . Been there -trail rideing now .

08-05-2008, 08:53 AM
tuffsmom Seasoned Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Nebraska Posts: 4,072	You can do it. Deep breaths and have a great time. __________________

08-05-2008, 08:59 AM
redboy Yearling Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Eastern Shore of Maryland Posts: 943	ScoutsWillowRidge, I do the same thing. I talk in a low voice, I sing/hum to my horse and it not only makes me more relaxed, it REALLY tunes him into my voice and gives my horse confidence and reassurance. Great Strategy. RB

08-05-2008, 09:14 AM
cook1745 Greenbroke Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: New Mexico Posts: 3,510	I feel for you!!! Good luck and I hope all goes great and each time you have more and more cnfidences!!! __________________ Home of my sweet girl Cinnamon. Not fancy but she is mine!!!

08-05-2008, 09:17 AM
lottie Newborn Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 10	Yep...I used singing too , and I am tone deaf . My sister would yell "Stop that !! " But it helps so I kept it up .

08-05-2008, 09:18 AM
sandy42345 Weanling Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: tennessee Posts: 435	Goo luck. You can do this. Just talk to your horse. Think happy thoughts.

08-05-2008, 09:22 AM
rm185western Greenbroke Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Saskatchewan,Canada Posts: 3,658	Nursery rhymes help a lot I sing them out loud, helps me breathe and gives the horse something to concentrate on rather looking for scary things, if you have heard me sing you'll understand. I know how you're feeling, you can work through this. __________________ ________________________________ Okay, who put a stop payment on my reality check?

08-05-2008, 09:29 AM
KrisRN2005 Yearling Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: New Jersey Posts: 667	oh boy,how I know what you are feeling. I had a horrible riding accident on my 4 year old SWB, she didn't do anything wrong it was an "accident" she simply lost her footing. well I ended up with several broken bones and lost my confidence to ride her in the fall as well. I recovered physically but the emotional toll was more than I had anticipated. I'm 39yrs old and boy did those broken bones hurt! Anyway the advice you have already been given is great, I too am back in the saddle and although I am only W/T for now as she is a total powerhouse, I cried with excitement knowing I had made a small stride to getting back what I love the most, being with my horses! I too talk and sing when I start to feel like I'm tightening up and she focuses on me.... I have faith in you, trust your gut instinct, when you need to stop do so, when you think you can be pushed a bit more listen to your trainer and know they have your best interest at heart. Slowly the baby steps turn into wonderful strides and before long this place and feeling won't be there. And you will be off on the trails! __________________ May you always be true to your best friend, today, tomorrow and always ....

08-05-2008, 01:02 PM
ahlihaff Greenbroke Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Western MA Posts: 3,635	Update Thank you all for your encouraging words and understanding of my feelings. As it turns out, we spent so much time in the round pen and the yard, we didn't get too far on a trail - just up to a small field (not the "wreck" field), BUT it was a good experience and helpful. On top of getting past my anxiety (which I don't feel in the round pen), I'm learning a different way to ride than how I was taught six years ago. So I'm needing to concentrate on many different things at once: relaxing, paying close attention to Ahliver's state of mind (very important), as well as remember to do the newly learned method. This trainer has emphasized over and over the importance of communicating with Ahliver - not the horse, but his body parts so he KNOWS I am driving the bus, not him (move a hq here, move his shoulder over there, lots of bends, etc.). At any rate, I feel good about how it went and hope to get further out on a trail next week. Meanwhile I'll practice the above all week and will keep in mind the excellent suggestions you all offered. You all are the BEST!!

08-05-2008, 01:18 PM
redboy Yearling Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Eastern Shore of Maryland Posts: 943	Congratulations!! I knew you could do it. Just practice a proper seat and lower leg position and that will keep you in the saddle. I took flying lessons and most all that you practice is, How to METHODICALLY THINK your way thru an emergency. Then, ALL the FEAR is removed and what you have is a REHEARSED PROGRAM/ CHECKLIST in your mind as to what to do in an emergency. It really helps to know that if you can't control the horse, you CAN CONTROL you on the horse. Everyone has fear, it's natural. You have to program yourself to have a CALM response to your fears, and ALWAYS have a strategy in place. Keep up the good work!! Redboy Last edited by redboy : 08-05-2008 at 01:42 PM.

08-05-2008, 03:29 PM
WiggyBug Halter broke Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Michigan Posts: 77	I am really glad you posted. I haven't been riding all that long - about a year and a half, and I just bought my 7 yo gelding in January. Buggsy has relieved me of my seat a couple of times - not bucking, but spooking suddenly to the side - and I have gotten hurt. We are supposed to go horse camping next week but I am getting nervous about riding him. I thought we had gotten over the big spookies and that he was settled with me now, up until the last episode on Sunday. Anyway, from reading all these posts, I see I am not the only one to be tossed and nervous about getting "back in the saddle". It is just part of the life. I've gotta put on my big girl panties and deal with it. And pack some vet wrap for me! Help!

08-06-2008, 07:05 AM
redboy Yearling Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Eastern Shore of Maryland Posts: 943	WiggyBug, I was reading your post here and my horse USED to do the same thing. It was like he would Drop his left shoulder and spin to the right SOO fast, he would slam me into the front of my saddle, HARD. OUCH!! What I started doing, was ANTICIPATING that move, b/c it was ALWAYS the same move, same reaction, same direction, etc. And when I would feel him tense up, I would lightly tap his left shoulder (the one he would always drop) with the crop to remind him, NO, STAND and then WALK forward. Face the scary object. It really did not take that long for him to realize that I was now a step ahead of him, and he was going to get more than a tap with the crop if he didn't stand and face the thing that was scaring him. That was ALL I was asking for, not to turn tail and run, but to STAND and face that scary thing. He got over it pretty quickly once he realized that I was on top of that move. Of course, then, they ALWAYS have a new move waiting to spring on you!! RB