A Horse's View of Natural Horsemanship

[The_Bass_Man]

I thought this was pretty good and thought I would pass it along. The horse's name they used was not sassy,I just thought it would be funny.

Hello, my name is Sassy and my Owner's a clinic junkie.

Yes, it's true. She went thru her mid life crisis and came to the sale barn and bought me. I spent my
whole life misbehaving and being passed from greenhorn to greenhorn till
someone finally got smart and sent me to the sale barn. I
was seriously hoping to be picked up by one of those show horse fellas
so I could live in a fancy barn and stand around and look pretty, but
they told me my butt's too small, my heads too big, and the crest
on my neck from a bout with grass founder (thanks to owner number 2) is
not desirable, and in general I was just not that capable of looking
pretty, so I went home with Phyllis instead.

She pets me and loves me, and in general I had a pretty good life at
first. Then she heard about those guys who whisper to horses. Life has
never been the same. First there was Pat. At Pat's clinic Phyllis
learned to twirl a big stick and chase me around a round pen till I was
wringing wet with sweat. Once I had quote 'calmed down' (I was never
really fired up in the first place till that guy came at me with the stick like an idiot) she began
learning to ride me with no bridle. Talk about giving an old spoiled horse an opportunity to have some fun!

Initially I went along with it. I'd lope around the pen real nice like,
and everyone would oooh and cooo over my 'natural horse' abilities.
Then, just when everyone had gathered around to watch, I would see the
SCARIEST!! (tehehehe) Shadow in the history of scary shadows and switch
directions and take off with my rider clinging terrified to my back.
Every other horse on the place was envious of me because their
owners would take them out back and beat them with that overpriced stick
when no one was watching, but I knew my Phyllis would not.

Eventually Philly (as I like to call her) gave up on the whole natural
horse idea when Pat tried to talk her into jumping me without a bridle
over some barrels. Off we went in search of another guru. In our search
we found Monty. He threw a string at a horse and talked to the horse with winks and stares. I spent some time with his clinic horses. I saw the demonstration where an unbroken 2 year
old became an overnight Reiner. Later I talked to the 2 year old. He was actually 5 and had been doing this same routine for about 5 clinics now.

The first time Phyllis broke out the string I again, went along with it.
Well, until she got tired of me stopping and looking at her like she was
stupid. When she went to get herself a glass of water and refer to
that chapter in Monty's book, I grabbed the string and chewed it to
pieces. And this is how I got my Jolly ball!

Then there was the Indian fella with a name I can't pronounce. To get
the full effect of his clinic Philly painted stuff on my body and put
feathers in my hair. I looked like I was in a Costume class, but hey
whatever floats your boat. I thought maybe at least with this guy we
might get to play Indian pony games and have mock battles or something
but no. More round pen work and gimmicks. This time there was a fire in the
middle of the round pen and they danced around it while praying that I
would become a good horse and always mind my owner. He only
took her for a couple thousand pelts and a bottle of firewater.

There's been the Australian guy. Training with a Boomerang while he
hopped around like a kangaroo and called me his mate... 'Sorry fella,
your cute and all but my mate has 4 legs. I just don't' swing
interspecies. ' A horse psychic who told Phyllis my momma didn't lick me
enough when I was born. A guy who used his hands like ears to talk to me
and of course the touchy feely lady.

I can't complain though I've got an owner who loves me and has devoted
her time to trying to make me a better horse. I really should behave,
really I should, but I think I am contributing to her youth by giving
her a reason to take me to all these clinics. Maybe the next clinic will
involve turning me out with the mustangs so I find my inner wild stallion.

Sincerely, Sassy


Thanks
Chris

[SirenAlecto]

That's hysterical. I couldn't stop laughing for the LONGEST time. Maybe it's the owners that need to be beaten with the overpriced stick? GIMMICKS *SMACK* DO *SMACK* NOT *SMACK* WORK! *SMACKSMACKSMACK*

[Lady_MCSE]

OK, I admit it, even though I'm a natural horsemanship fan, I have to admit that was pretty danged hysterical!

[ToveroMom]

That was a hoot...

[sundancer maiden]

I'm just glad that poor, poor Sassy finally has a good home!

[99horses]

Originally Posted by sundancer maiden

I'm just glad that poor, poor Sassy finally has a good home!

[southernkissed]

That is too funny!LOL

[sandy42345]

Speaking of natural horseman ship, a friend of mine has an arabian, She decided to go with pat parelli training. Mind you now, the horse was 10 when she bought him, fully trained, So she decided she was going to make this horse forget everything he knew, Almost completed level one, great huh? Well , that horse was so used to that "carrot stick" He really thought that stick was his boss, she decides she is going to ride him, mind you the horse has never been out of his roundpen. At this point that is his safety zone. Well when she takes him out to the road, he freaks, cars? hmm, what are those? lawnmower? hmm, horse eating machine, Well he bolts with her on him, bucks, she goes flying, he comes running up the road, crshes into my training pen. He broke every rib in her body. yes she still has him, i begged her to get rid of him. She can do whatever in his pen, but get him, out watch out.

[DappleGrayMyWay]

LMAOROTF

or whatever acronym I need to type to say that was HILARIOUS and I wish I could send that to every person on my horsie mailing list!!

(especially my two-star Parelli instructor who really wants to know why I 'quit' when I was soooo close to level 2...hahahahahaha)