If only I could raise my kids like my horses

ruffian · 12-02-2008, 12:27 PM

There's been some discussion of the three second reaction. Horse misbehaves and within 3 seconds you must make him feel he could die, and then life goes calmly on.
I have a teenage son, enough said.
Some days he is dense and disorganized, some days rude and disorganized.
Why would you let someone grab your cell phone, not get it back and wait three days to tell someone so that it could be disabled? (so the second set of idiots can't call Zimbawbe.) Yeah he pays for it, but the account is in my name.
Or at 0600 when said son is lying on the couch, groaning about how he hates Mondays, yet has the energy to holler,"Mom get in here, the toaster just popped" (with his toast) Perhaps the site of mom, in bathrobe and fake rabbit slippers, yanking him off the couch while waving a loaded curling iron was enough to make him think he was heading down the tunnel towards the bright light.
Instead of thinking I might one day kill him, perhaps if he just thinks I'm insane it will be enough to keep him on guard. Or maybe I'll move to Zimbawbe.
The horse is much easier to deal with.

EquineAlberta · 12-02-2008, 12:31 PM

All the teenagers in my life go home at the end of the day

And no teenage boys! I gotta say though, when the kids tell me there stories, I really do have to wonder what exactly is going on in there heads, and how on earth they are going to manage as productive members of society one day! But then other days they suprise me the other way, by being thoughtful and insightful. All in all though, I don't envy parents of teenagers!

Karen

sswtness75 · 12-02-2008, 01:15 PM

My daughter isn't even a teenager yet..... But she still is driving me crazy. She will be 11 this month, not even close yet to teenage years. She used the last of our toilet paper (VERY last of the last roll) to stuff her bra to see what she would look like with boobies.

She is TEN.

3horses · 12-02-2008, 01:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sswtness75

My daughter isn't even a teenager yet..... But she still is driving me crazy. She will be 11 this month, not even close yet to teenage years. She used the last of our toilet paper (VERY last of the last roll) to stuff her bra to see what she would look like with boobies.

She is TEN.

LMAO!

That's too funny! I do have a 13 yr. old daughter so don't think I don't understand where you are coming from. It's just funnier when you hear it from someone else.

sswtness75 · 12-02-2008, 01:32 PM

I was madder than a hornet. But at the same time, I wanted to laugh so badly!

**Range** · 12-02-2008, 01:47 PM

I vote for insane lunatic....keep him on his toes!

sandy42345 · 12-02-2008, 01:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sswtness75

My daughter isn't even a teenager yet..... But she still is driving me crazy. She will be 11 this month, not even close yet to teenage years. She used the last of our toilet paper (VERY last of the last roll) to stuff her bra to see what she would look like with boobies.

She is TEN.

Omg, that is way too funny!!!!

sswtness75 · 12-02-2008, 01:53 PM

Welcome to my world.

beezwing · 12-02-2008, 02:01 PM

See the trick is putting the fear of god in them while they are small and cute, that is your only hope, that, that fear is in there at a visceral level when they are bigger then you.

My son just turned 16..and while it is better now, between 12-14 was the worst, his brain still quits working, no impulse control, snarling man beast...but it will get better, it has to or no one will ever take him off my hands

k

cook1745 · 12-02-2008, 02:05 PM

My kids are only 7 and 4 and I still fell your pain. It starts as soon as they are out of the woomb. ALWAYS crying MOMMY.

enigma · 12-02-2008, 02:08 PM

I've had a discussion with my daughter that has lasted for about the last 9 years. I also think Bill Cosby's take is very effective - "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out. And it don't make no difference to me, I'll make another one look just like you." We've done some forced labor for smart mouths, too.

ruffian · 12-02-2008, 02:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by enigma

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out. And it don't make no difference to me, I'll make another one look just like you."

I love that!!
Just waiting till the boy puts a sock in his jeans (or toilet paper) too funny
If I wasn't laughing, I'd be crying

Rhiannon · 12-03-2008, 03:50 AM

I do raise my children similar to how I handle my horses, LOL.

Love and affection are a given...

Trust and respect must be earned... A basic respect is something we all show each other.

"My space/your space"...

Make it easy for them to do the right thing. Catch them in the act of being good, and reinforce the behavior you want to see more of...

Let them think that doing it your way is their idea...

Natural consequences for bad choices...

Sometimes "life" is the best teacher. (Goes with the natural consequences) Sometimes it is better for them to learn that way. You stop being the "bad parent" and then they figure out why you thought it was a bad idea. (In horse psychology, they think it was the "rope" that got them)

Hmmm...I might not do the swift pop on the nose for biting... Disrespectful attitude must be dealt with swiftly, though. (Same concept!) Don't let them get away with things, or it becomes a bad habit. Deal with it while it's a "small" problem, or it will eventually become a huge one.

If you are too "soft" they will not respect your boundaries and will run right over you. Some will continually "test" those boundaries, and you usually have to be one step ahead of them.

Like horses, children are a commitment. The responsibility is 24/7.

You become their source of safety and security.

Teenagers are a big challenge. I've raised 3 of them, and have my daughter's 18 year old boyfriend living with me now. It's a real "pick your battles" stage of life. There are many perks, though, if you look for them.

I believe in giving them as much responsibility as possible. Kids who work make good adults. They might as well learn the ways of the world early on. Let them make a lot of their own choices, as long as those choices aren't dangerous or irresponsible. They become real resourceful and become good problem solvers if left to figure some things out on their own.

If they blow their money, they go broke until they can earn some more. Funny how they become motivated when that is the only way they get to do anything.

I do think teens are a lot of fun. I love their senses of humor. They crack me up. We also like some of the same music. I go to the movies with them. I enjoy the high school gossip. I let them drive me all over. And sometimes, I actually have some really interesting conversations with them.

When it drives you nuts, just remind yourself, this, too, will pass!

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
Kids horses	Wendy F	Forum for Florida	0	11-06-2008 12:08 PM
Kids and Horses....	banjo's mom	Horse Stories	8	09-24-2008 05:18 PM
Little kids and horses	Orchid	Horse Stories	15	11-07-2007 07:33 PM
Kids and Horses	Kendra	General Horse Advice	14	01-25-2007 07:49 AM

12-02-2008, 12:27 PM
ruffian Long Yearling Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Alberta Posts: 1,088	If only I could raise my kids like my horses There's been some discussion of the three second reaction. Horse misbehaves and within 3 seconds you must make him feel he could die, and then life goes calmly on. I have a teenage son, enough said. Some days he is dense and disorganized, some days rude and disorganized. Why would you let someone grab your cell phone, not get it back and wait three days to tell someone so that it could be disabled? (so the second set of idiots can't call Zimbawbe.) Yeah he pays for it, but the account is in my name. Or at 0600 when said son is lying on the couch, groaning about how he hates Mondays, yet has the energy to holler,"Mom get in here, the toaster just popped" (with his toast) Perhaps the site of mom, in bathrobe and fake rabbit slippers, yanking him off the couch while waving a loaded curling iron was enough to make him think he was heading down the tunnel towards the bright light. Instead of thinking I might one day kill him, perhaps if he just thinks I'm insane it will be enough to keep him on guard. Or maybe I'll move to Zimbawbe. The horse is much easier to deal with. __________________ There is something about the outside of a Horse that\'s good for the inside of a man (Will Rogers)

12-02-2008, 12:31 PM
EquineAlberta Kid Safe Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Alberta, Canada Posts: 5,521	All the teenagers in my life go home at the end of the day And no teenage boys! I gotta say though, when the kids tell me there stories, I really do have to wonder what exactly is going on in there heads, and how on earth they are going to manage as productive members of society one day! But then other days they suprise me the other way, by being thoughtful and insightful. All in all though, I don't envy parents of teenagers! Karen __________________ Hillside Stable, Ardrossan, AB "There is never shame, in grabbing mane!"

12-02-2008, 01:15 PM
sswtness75 Started Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Arkansas Posts: 2,346	My daughter isn't even a teenager yet..... But she still is driving me crazy. She will be 11 this month, not even close yet to teenage years. She used the last of our toilet paper (VERY last of the last roll) to stuff her bra to see what she would look like with boobies. She is TEN. __________________ Proud parent of two beautiful girls, four horses, four dogs, two cats, two goats

12-02-2008, 01:32 PM
sswtness75 Started Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Arkansas Posts: 2,346	I was madder than a hornet. But at the same time, I wanted to laugh so badly! __________________ Proud parent of two beautiful girls, four horses, four dogs, two cats, two goats

12-02-2008, 01:47 PM
Range Super Moderator Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Back of Beyond Posts: 6,461	I vote for insane lunatic....keep him on his toes! __________________ If it harms none, do what you will.

12-02-2008, 01:53 PM
sswtness75 Started Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Arkansas Posts: 2,346	Welcome to my world. __________________ Proud parent of two beautiful girls, four horses, four dogs, two cats, two goats

12-02-2008, 02:01 PM
beezwing Started Join Date: May 2007 Location: louisiana Posts: 2,254	See the trick is putting the fear of god in them while they are small and cute, that is your only hope, that, that fear is in there at a visceral level when they are bigger then you. My son just turned 16..and while it is better now, between 12-14 was the worst, his brain still quits working, no impulse control, snarling man beast...but it will get better, it has to or no one will ever take him off my hands k __________________ “Preach the gospel at all times, if necessary use words.” St Francis

12-02-2008, 02:05 PM
cook1745 Greenbroke Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: New Mexico Posts: 3,880	My kids are only 7 and 4 and I still fell your pain. It starts as soon as they are out of the woomb. ALWAYS crying MOMMY. __________________ Nutmeg is my hidden treasure.

12-02-2008, 02:08 PM
enigma Yearling Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Colorado Posts: 906	I've had a discussion with my daughter that has lasted for about the last 9 years. I also think Bill Cosby's take is very effective - "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out. And it don't make no difference to me, I'll make another one look just like you." We've done some forced labor for smart mouths, too. __________________ There is something about the outside of a horse that is good for the inside of a man. ~ Winston Churchill

12-03-2008, 03:50 AM
Rhiannon Yearling Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Lacey, WA Posts: 511	I do raise my children similar to how I handle my horses, LOL. Love and affection are a given... Trust and respect must be earned... A basic respect is something we all show each other. "My space/your space"... Make it easy for them to do the right thing. Catch them in the act of being good, and reinforce the behavior you want to see more of... Let them think that doing it your way is their idea... Natural consequences for bad choices... Sometimes "life" is the best teacher. (Goes with the natural consequences) Sometimes it is better for them to learn that way. You stop being the "bad parent" and then they figure out why you thought it was a bad idea. (In horse psychology, they think it was the "rope" that got them) Hmmm...I might not do the swift pop on the nose for biting... Disrespectful attitude must be dealt with swiftly, though. (Same concept!) Don't let them get away with things, or it becomes a bad habit. Deal with it while it's a "small" problem, or it will eventually become a huge one. If you are too "soft" they will not respect your boundaries and will run right over you. Some will continually "test" those boundaries, and you usually have to be one step ahead of them. Like horses, children are a commitment. The responsibility is 24/7. You become their source of safety and security. Teenagers are a big challenge. I've raised 3 of them, and have my daughter's 18 year old boyfriend living with me now. It's a real "pick your battles" stage of life. There are many perks, though, if you look for them. I believe in giving them as much responsibility as possible. Kids who work make good adults. They might as well learn the ways of the world early on. Let them make a lot of their own choices, as long as those choices aren't dangerous or irresponsible. They become real resourceful and become good problem solvers if left to figure some things out on their own. If they blow their money, they go broke until they can earn some more. Funny how they become motivated when that is the only way they get to do anything. I do think teens are a lot of fun. I love their senses of humor. They crack me up. We also like some of the same music. I go to the movies with them. I enjoy the high school gossip. I let them drive me all over. And sometimes, I actually have some really interesting conversations with them. When it drives you nuts, just remind yourself, this, too, will pass!