Unusual situation with former BO

sherriawright · 08-25-2008, 04:08 PM

Ok, last febuary I sent a nice although complaining letter to my barn owner stating that I was not happy with his facilities and asking for some changes. Basically I didn't like my horses with 15 other ones on 5 acreas. It was nothing but mud and my gelding was getting the crap beat out of him. He didn't/wouldn't make any changes, so I moved out. When I moved he told me I had lost visiting rights and never to come back to his property. It hurt because although we had a business relationship, I did respect and admire him.

Ok, here's the problem. He ran into a money problem last year and sold me a paint mare that he didn't really want to sell. I purchased her and since she was 5 paid $250 towards the registration fee to APHA. The total fee was $500 and they told me I could make payments on it. He came to me in January asking for the mare back, since I really didn't like her and he had a better one he was going to give me for her, I agreed.

I guess he finally paid the rest of the money because I got her registration papers in the mail today. The papers are in my name!

What should I do? One part says be nice and give him a call another says he was a donkey to me and to be a donkey back.

I was going to move out of his facility because of the over-crowding and dirty conditions. The care of my animals was never a issue. For example he has never done anything with his manure pile in over a year and the EPA has been out there several times with citations. He has 32 horses at his boarding stable.

GreyDot · 08-25-2008, 04:21 PM

It's really, really tempting to try to 'get him back' - but you're a more decent person than that. I'd call him, and just keep it on a business level. It would also be good if he could refund you the money for the registration, if that's possible. Don't get into any personal issues - it's not about anything from the past, it's ONLY about the horse. Be the bigger person and call him.

Lopin · 08-25-2008, 05:41 PM

I'd leave it be. Be happy you got your papers and never burn your bridges in this tiny world. I don't believe a phone call is necessary, he is a businessman and this is a business. If you insist on giving him a call, a simple, "I received my papers in the mail today and I just wanted to say thank you." would be enough.

kanoo32 · 08-25-2008, 05:44 PM

2 wrongs don't make a right. If this is what you would want someone to do to you then keep the papers, if you are better than that give him a call.

equine.trailrider · 08-25-2008, 07:01 PM

32 horses on five acres!! You're kidding, right?

banat · 08-25-2008, 10:15 PM

Do I understand correctly that the papers you recently received were for the mare you sold/traded back to him?

You know the right thing to do.

He may have been unpleasant/unprofessional, and it may be tempting to give it back, but you know better.

Take the high road.

sli92 · 08-25-2008, 10:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by banat

Do I understand correctly that the papers you recently received were for the mare you sold/traded back to him?

You know the right thing to do.

He may have been unpleasant/unprofessional, and it may be tempting to give it back, but you know better.

Take the high road.

Pretty much what banat said...

Be professional, not snippy or anything. Act towards him as you would anyone you accidentily got papers for...

Don't forget about karma... it seems to pop up in the best places

EquineAlberta · 08-25-2008, 11:00 PM

Sometimes when you own a stable it is hard not to take criticism to heart...it isn't like any old business, and most boarding stables are the result of a lot of hard work and so he likely over reacted to your comments (they are likely things he isn't happy with either), and may regret it now. If you traded the horse back to him, and the papers were sent to you, the papers need to go with the horse. Whether you call or mail them is up to you.

Karen

BabyMay · 08-26-2008, 05:48 AM

I agree with everyone else. You need to give him the papers.

**gbarmranch** · 08-26-2008, 06:24 AM

Doing the right thing is it's own reward.. and will allow you to sleep better at night... send him the papers with a thank you note.. you are the bigger person in this, and will feel so much better having done that.

horselady · 08-26-2008, 06:47 AM

Every one in business knows how hard it is to please everyone,
If you no longer have the mare, what good are the papers to you?. If you call him, tell him you have the papers, and I would send them certified, so he would have to sign for them.
Also if you have a horse from him that you traded. I am assuming you are happy. So let it be, I am sure he is doing the best he can.

cowgirlspurs · 08-26-2008, 06:54 AM

I'm guessing I am missing the part where he actually screwed you over.
So he didn't make any changes that you wanted-who owns the barn?
His call as well to not allow you back-and yet he was good enough to trade back for his paint mare and give you something better (your exact words).
I don't see where with-holding the papers should even be a thought.

dodib · 08-26-2008, 07:03 AM

I would give him the papers but I would give him a call and have him come get them-- I wouldn't just send them I guess I would want him to know that you are being kind and doing the right thing

ahlihaff · 08-26-2008, 08:14 AM

Absolutely contact him and give him the papers. It's the right thing for you to do regardless of his character.

CowhorseGal · 08-26-2008, 08:27 AM

Did the trade transaction actually get completed? If it did, them give him the papers. If you have the new horse in your possesion then give him the paper. If not, I think a phone call is in order to him and you need to explain that you have the papers on the paint mare and as soon as the trade transaction is complete he will be given these. If it is not complete I would not give them too him.. you paid for the paint mare and the papers are your only proof of ownership..

One thing I have learned is that genarally people will try to get away with anything you let them. He is obviously bitter for you moving.. or he wouldn't have told you you don't have "visitaion rights"

I am not saying you should be bitter back but you should cover you tail...if you give him the papers and he has not completed the agreed trade he has both horses and you have nothing..

DappleGrayMyWay · 08-26-2008, 09:10 AM

While I agree that it's tempting ... unless he owes you something more on the horse he traded you, then you can take this chance to model decent behavior for him by presenting him with the papers. You're clearly the better person anyway, since you did him a favor by taking the mare when he needed help even after having issues with his management.

And on that subject, good for you for doing that. I had something come up between myself and my last BO that makes it easy for me to understand your situation...fourteen horses on bare land, no supplemental hay, poor watering...and I doubt I could have done what you did. You're a good person.

reiningfan · 08-26-2008, 12:03 PM

Give him the papers. If you, as you stated, got the better end of the deal, what exactly is the problem?

arabiancowgirl · 08-26-2008, 12:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by equine.trailrider

32 horses on five acres!! You're kidding, right?

Up here in Alaska it is common for 40 horses to be on 3 acres

Luckily my horses have alot more room

Akita it Girl · 08-26-2008, 12:24 PM

You know the right thing to do...but if it makes you feel better, you can put it off for a little

Stormy's Human · 08-26-2008, 12:31 PM

40 horses on 3 acres?

How does that work?

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08-25-2008, 04:08 PM
sherriawright Weanling Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: Pekin, Illinois Posts: 454	Unusual situation with former BO Ok, last febuary I sent a nice although complaining letter to my barn owner stating that I was not happy with his facilities and asking for some changes. Basically I didn't like my horses with 15 other ones on 5 acreas. It was nothing but mud and my gelding was getting the crap beat out of him. He didn't/wouldn't make any changes, so I moved out. When I moved he told me I had lost visiting rights and never to come back to his property. It hurt because although we had a business relationship, I did respect and admire him. Ok, here's the problem. He ran into a money problem last year and sold me a paint mare that he didn't really want to sell. I purchased her and since she was 5 paid $250 towards the registration fee to APHA. The total fee was $500 and they told me I could make payments on it. He came to me in January asking for the mare back, since I really didn't like her and he had a better one he was going to give me for her, I agreed. I guess he finally paid the rest of the money because I got her registration papers in the mail today. The papers are in my name! What should I do? One part says be nice and give him a call another says he was a donkey to me and to be a donkey back. I was going to move out of his facility because of the over-crowding and dirty conditions. The care of my animals was never a issue. For example he has never done anything with his manure pile in over a year and the EPA has been out there several times with citations. He has 32 horses at his boarding stable. __________________ The art of riding is keeping the horse between you and the ground.

08-25-2008, 04:21 PM
GreyDot Started Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Between AZ and OH Posts: 2,273	It's really, really tempting to try to 'get him back' - but you're a more decent person than that. I'd call him, and just keep it on a business level. It would also be good if he could refund you the money for the registration, if that's possible. Don't get into any personal issues - it's not about anything from the past, it's ONLY about the horse. Be the bigger person and call him. __________________ ...There is nothing to be done till a horse's head is settled. ~William Cavendish Stuipid CAN be fixed... you just have to hit it hard enough! ~A rare moment of inspiration

08-25-2008, 05:41 PM
Lopin Coming two Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Home of Brett Favre Posts: 1,692	I'd leave it be. Be happy you got your papers and never burn your bridges in this tiny world. I don't believe a phone call is necessary, he is a businessman and this is a business. If you insist on giving him a call, a simple, "I received my papers in the mail today and I just wanted to say thank you." would be enough. __________________ Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

08-25-2008, 05:44 PM
kanoo32 Started Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Florida Posts: 2,362	2 wrongs don't make a right. If this is what you would want someone to do to you then keep the papers, if you are better than that give him a call. __________________ Even if your on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there!

08-25-2008, 07:01 PM
equine.trailrider Yearling Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Michigan Posts: 899	32 horses on five acres!! You're kidding, right? __________________ -I'll Take A Cold One. Make It A Draft! visit me at http://www.freewebs.com/sunshineacres

08-25-2008, 10:15 PM
banat Newborn Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 11	Do I understand correctly that the papers you recently received were for the mare you sold/traded back to him? You know the right thing to do. He may have been unpleasant/unprofessional, and it may be tempting to give it back, but you know better. Take the high road.

08-25-2008, 11:00 PM
EquineAlberta Seasoned Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Alberta, Canada Posts: 4,425	Sometimes when you own a stable it is hard not to take criticism to heart...it isn't like any old business, and most boarding stables are the result of a lot of hard work and so he likely over reacted to your comments (they are likely things he isn't happy with either), and may regret it now. If you traded the horse back to him, and the papers were sent to you, the papers need to go with the horse. Whether you call or mail them is up to you. Karen __________________ Hillside Stable, Ardrossan, AB Do unto others as you would have them do unto you...is it really that hard?

08-26-2008, 05:48 AM
BabyMay Coming two Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Wisconsin Posts: 1,875	I agree with everyone else. You need to give him the papers. __________________ Animals don't need a reason to love.

08-26-2008, 06:24 AM
gbarmranch Administrator Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Tennessee Posts: 29,218	Doing the right thing is it's own reward.. and will allow you to sleep better at night... send him the papers with a thank you note.. you are the bigger person in this, and will feel so much better having done that. __________________ Quality FoundationQuarter Horses http://home.earthlink.net/~vpgann Minds are like parachutes – they only function when open – Thomas Dewar

08-26-2008, 06:47 AM
horselady Greenbroke Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: albany new york Posts: 3,243	Every one in business knows how hard it is to please everyone, If you no longer have the mare, what good are the papers to you?. If you call him, tell him you have the papers, and I would send them certified, so he would have to sign for them. Also if you have a horse from him that you traded. I am assuming you are happy. So let it be, I am sure he is doing the best he can. __________________ www.rainbow-horse-retirement.com We love and take care of your companion for the remainder of his lifetime

08-26-2008, 06:54 AM
cowgirlspurs Long Yearling Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Washago/Severn Bridge Ontario Posts: 1,423	I'm guessing I am missing the part where he actually screwed you over. So he didn't make any changes that you wanted-who owns the barn? His call as well to not allow you back-and yet he was good enough to trade back for his paint mare and give you something better (your exact words). I don't see where with-holding the papers should even be a thought. __________________ Fufill your fantasies...FG Fantasy Fella

08-26-2008, 07:03 AM
dodib Started Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Ravenna, MI Posts: 2,568	I would give him the papers but I would give him a call and have him come get them-- I wouldn't just send them I guess I would want him to know that you are being kind and doing the right thing __________________ Dorthy www.freewebs.com/brownranch/

08-26-2008, 08:14 AM
ahlihaff Greenbroke Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Western MA Posts: 3,584	Absolutely contact him and give him the papers. It's the right thing for you to do regardless of his character.

08-26-2008, 08:27 AM
CowhorseGal Weanling Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Idaho Posts: 344	Did the trade transaction actually get completed? If it did, them give him the papers. If you have the new horse in your possesion then give him the paper. If not, I think a phone call is in order to him and you need to explain that you have the papers on the paint mare and as soon as the trade transaction is complete he will be given these. If it is not complete I would not give them too him.. you paid for the paint mare and the papers are your only proof of ownership.. One thing I have learned is that genarally people will try to get away with anything you let them. He is obviously bitter for you moving.. or he wouldn't have told you you don't have "visitaion rights" I am not saying you should be bitter back but you should cover you tail...if you give him the papers and he has not completed the agreed trade he has both horses and you have nothing.. __________________ The more I know men the more I like my dog

08-26-2008, 09:10 AM
DappleGrayMyWay Yearling Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: NC (Asheville) Posts: 856	While I agree that it's tempting ... unless he owes you something more on the horse he traded you, then you can take this chance to model decent behavior for him by presenting him with the papers. You're clearly the better person anyway, since you did him a favor by taking the mare when he needed help even after having issues with his management. And on that subject, good for you for doing that. I had something come up between myself and my last BO that makes it easy for me to understand your situation...fourteen horses on bare land, no supplemental hay, poor watering...and I doubt I could have done what you did. You're a good person. __________________ My sanity is with my horse, and if you see them, please send them back to the barn. Tule Pepper

08-26-2008, 12:03 PM
reiningfan Yearling Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Western Manitoba, Canada Posts: 516	Give him the papers. If you, as you stated, got the better end of the deal, what exactly is the problem?

08-26-2008, 12:24 PM
Akita it Girl Weanling Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Md Posts: 344	You know the right thing to do...but if it makes you feel better, you can put it off for a little __________________ Everyone has their hobbies...mine just happens to include whips, spurs and leather.

08-26-2008, 12:31 PM
Stormy's Human Long Yearling Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Seville, Florida Posts: 1,217	40 horses on 3 acres? How does that work?