Need Advise!!! Frustrates after riding lesson

happyhorsehavenfarms · 08-23-2008, 10:51 AM

Hello HT's

This was the worse lesson ever, Just very frustrated.....Just things were not clicking today for me. Learning or trying to learn my first dressage pattern having problems with my circle not being the same size as my other circle.

Here is my other issue I have a quarter horse that I bought, This horse is very frustrating for me . I love him alot he is very bracy pushes against the bit. First he would not go forward now we are going forward no brakes there are none... It takes 500 lbs of pressure to get him to stop at a slow walk. So I am working him in the round pen. I feel like I have a long way to go .

I just want a horse that has been there done that kind of thing. It seems impossible, I feel like I always end up buying the wrong horses and I have in the past. I just want a horse trained in english that I can start dressage with....

Any advise I have worked so hard been taking lessons so I would have better seat and I have worked so hard starting this at 44.

Any advise for finding the right horse I feel like I get taken advantage of when I go looking for a horse.

Freedomnchrist · 08-23-2008, 10:57 AM

First...I am so sorry you are upset...I know how it feels.

I waited 15 years to get a horse of my own...and when I got her...she seemed all wrong.

We did not click with all.

And you know what...it took us 10 months to click.

Now...you could not get me to sell her for any amount.

She is absolutely the best horse ever.

Super responsive.

We had to come to a understanding see....I leave her alone...and she listens when we work together.

But...I ask her...I don't tell her.

Whenever I told her to do something...she pitched a fit.

But when I asked her....she did it.

i do not know if that even makes sense or not.

Just hang in there. Not sure how long you have had your horse...but be patient.

I did...and literally...overnight...she got better.

**seerfarm** · 08-23-2008, 11:03 AM

Consider this: You get frustrated, he gets frustrated. Perhaps he is not understanding the questions you are asking.

You referred to frustration from your lesson, so am I correct in assuming you have an instructor? If so, is it possible to have your instructor ride your horse to make sure that he knows, and understands the questions being asked?

If you do not have an instructor that can ride him, then perhaps maybe find someone you trust in this discipline to ride, and determine if he is capable of what he is being asked.

It may be nothing more than a simple lack of communication for both of you. Not on the same page so to speak.

Slim Pikkens · 08-23-2008, 11:22 AM

If you have 50 or so feet of board fence ride parallel to the fence 6-8' away from it. When you wish him to stop, ask for a whoa, count to 2 as in 2 seconds-the time for the signal to go from his brain to his engine) then turn him into the fence. The fence will stop him. Allow him to relax, then turn and proceed along the fence. I'd do this 4 or five times each direction. He will learn that when you say whoa it's easier to do so than turn into the fence. When he's doing this nicely I'm a firm believer in putting him away. This is his greatest reward. He may do it even better the following day. Don't be surprised if he tests you but a repeat of what you've done previously will remind him. Be sure to use the word whoa only for whoa which means stop. By being consistant that is all you will need to say to stop forward motion.

ahlihaff · 08-23-2008, 12:12 PM

I go along with the others' suggestions. However, if you find this horse and you are truly not a good match, I would suggest bringing your trainer, instructor or another trusted person whose opinion you value with you next time to go to buy a horse.

Sometimes, we and the horse just don't click during a particular session. Other times, we just don't click at all.

beckyp · 08-23-2008, 04:09 PM

I would get frustrated with my TB gelding at times when we would be out riding and he would refuse to do something-crossing small puddles. Whenever I tried to be assertive it come to the point where he would refuse any commands and maybe do little rearing. I have since discovered that if I work with him at concentrating better at proper cues he does better now. Where he is now there is a creek that he will cross without any hesitation-he realized that anything I wanted him to do would not hurt him and he has learned to trust me and I have learned to work with him instead of fighting with him. Sometimes we all get frustrated,hopefully this too will pass. Try to get a trainer to help you and your horse-maybe an objective input will help you both.

karenf · 08-23-2008, 04:13 PM

It is hard to tell what the issue is, but it is difficult to do dressage with a horse and rider both needing to learn from scratch. I learned on an old mare who was push button. May be you can hang around instruction barns and take lessons on a different horse.

Your horse sounds like it may not be a good horse for dressage. Quarter horses are not really built the best for it. They are great horses in their own disciplines, but, you might find a more suitable horse by hanging around others already involved in dressage who may want to sell their lower level horse.

EquineAlberta · 08-23-2008, 11:21 PM

Dressage should be about the process of learning and not about the end. That said, it is much more satisfying to learn it when your horse can at least do the basics, and has a good foundation so you can enjoy learning the fancier stuff.

I wonder if your instructors learning style has anything to do with your frustration? Not every instructor works for every student.

As for finding a horse...having a reasonible budget and paying for assistance is really the best way. Looking for a school master type with some years on him is usually the safest bet. Go to shows and see which trainers you like/respect and then ask if they have anything for sale in their barn.

Around here you can get a very decent school master that is on the short side for under $5000.00. If you want something taller though, you have to be prepared to pay $$$$.

Karen

Carri · 08-24-2008, 04:21 AM

I am sorry you are having these frustrations. You have gotten some really good advice so far. I am in the beginning stages of learning dressage also, and I can completely relate. One thing that has helped me with my circles is to pass E (or B) and count 3 strides, and then make the turn. You will probably have to adjust that for the size of your horse, but it is helping us. Keeping my horse bent to the inside is an issue, but we are working on it. Learning dressage is a slow process!
On your halt: Try to stop his feet, and then relax completely, and let up on the reins, I know the temptation is there to keep pulling back to keep him stopped, but if you relax, he will too. Other than that, just keep trying!

rivervu2 · 08-24-2008, 07:05 AM

I agree with KarenF, a lot of QH types are not suitable for dressage, especially if they've been ridden western and are really heavy on the forehand. They also have a difficult time reaching under with the hind leg because of their build. There are exceptions of course. If you can't afford a trained horse you may want to consider a lease. I leased a PSG level gelding while his owner was pregnant and learned so much from him. Often times people with really good horses don't want to give them up so will consider leasing.

happyhorsehavenfarms · 08-24-2008, 08:25 AM

Thanks for all the advise...I think the QH has so many not so nice little tricks...I feel like I am chopping away at them. But, I also feel very frustrated. My trainer came out friday. We worked with him he did things he has never tried this far. Here I was telling her I thought we were making progress and then she comes out and I am not so sure she saw any of that.....

Then Saturday was my lesson I was feeling so frustrated over my QH . I rode TB over there I love her she is so push button. It was like I did everything not the way it needed to be. 10 minutes into my ride I was in tears. That is not like me , I went home like a puppy with her tail between her legs.....

I always like to improve at each lesson and this was not the case. I guess some of my frustration in I want to be able to trot around in my roundpen and pasture like I do at her place. Well I have QH that pushes on the bit has not brakes barely will go forward.....FRUSTRATION FRUSTRATION.

So, I am looking at TB for sale in TN. What do you think????
I would like all opionions. Of course I would have to sell the QH first.......

http://www.equine.com/horses-for-sale/horse-ad-670330.aspx

Carri · 08-24-2008, 08:35 AM

He is really lovely! What level dressage are you looking for? He is currently doing beginner novice level eventing, the dressage is pretty low level (walk, trot, canter, circles, nothing too complicated as far as I know).

happyhorsehavenfarms · 08-24-2008, 09:06 AM

I am looking for level 1, I think he is nice looking....I am worried why the price is so low

Lopin · 08-24-2008, 10:17 AM

I would highly suggest taking your instructor or a trainer along with you while you are looking at horses. It will cost you (commission, etc) but finding the right horse will be worth it.

We all get frustrated, even those of us that have been riding for a long time. We all have those days...hang in there.

EquineAlberta · 08-24-2008, 10:33 AM

I like the TB. She used to have him advertised for $4500, so I think the price is just that she needs to sell him quickly. Could also be that he failed a previous vet check, but that might not be a problem for you. I would come right out and ask about the price (on the phone, not in an email...so if there is an issue that caused the price drop they have less time to think up a story) If he could event in an eggbutt snaffle, then I am guessing he is sane enough.

Karen

happyhorsehavenfarms · 08-24-2008, 11:29 AM

I am just waiting for the TB owner to call me. I am getting a little excited. But, then I would need how to sell my Quarter Horse he needs some work he pushed on the bit. Any ideas how to list him. I am going to take my trainer with me when I go to ride him....I promise my husband we will stay at 2 horses due to the price of hay in my area.

happyhorsehavenfarms · 08-24-2008, 07:55 PM

Bad news on the TB navicular and has his hocks injected twice a year oh but the owner says he has no problems......I will search on

Carri · 08-25-2008, 09:30 AM

Oh, that's not good! At least she told you, though...

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08-23-2008, 10:51 AM
happyhorsehavenfarms Halter broke Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Tennessee Posts: 155	Need Advise!!! Frustrates after riding lesson Hello HT's This was the worse lesson ever, Just very frustrated.....Just things were not clicking today for me. Learning or trying to learn my first dressage pattern having problems with my circle not being the same size as my other circle. Here is my other issue I have a quarter horse that I bought, This horse is very frustrating for me . I love him alot he is very bracy pushes against the bit. First he would not go forward now we are going forward no brakes there are none... It takes 500 lbs of pressure to get him to stop at a slow walk. So I am working him in the round pen. I feel like I have a long way to go . I just want a horse that has been there done that kind of thing. It seems impossible, I feel like I always end up buying the wrong horses and I have in the past. I just want a horse trained in english that I can start dressage with.... Any advise I have worked so hard been taking lessons so I would have better seat and I have worked so hard starting this at 44. Any advise for finding the right horse I feel like I get taken advantage of when I go looking for a horse.

08-23-2008, 10:57 AM
Freedomnchrist Greenbroke Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Alabama Posts: 3,312	First...I am so sorry you are upset...I know how it feels. I waited 15 years to get a horse of my own...and when I got her...she seemed all wrong. We did not click with all. And you know what...it took us 10 months to click. Now...you could not get me to sell her for any amount. She is absolutely the best horse ever. Super responsive. We had to come to a understanding see....I leave her alone...and she listens when we work together. But...I ask her...I don't tell her. Whenever I told her to do something...she pitched a fit. But when I asked her....she did it. i do not know if that even makes sense or not. Just hang in there. Not sure how long you have had your horse...but be patient. I did...and literally...overnight...she got better.

08-23-2008, 11:03 AM
seerfarm Super Moderator Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Portal, Ga Posts: 7,732	Consider this: You get frustrated, he gets frustrated. Perhaps he is not understanding the questions you are asking. You referred to frustration from your lesson, so am I correct in assuming you have an instructor? If so, is it possible to have your instructor ride your horse to make sure that he knows, and understands the questions being asked? If you do not have an instructor that can ride him, then perhaps maybe find someone you trust in this discipline to ride, and determine if he is capable of what he is being asked. It may be nothing more than a simple lack of communication for both of you. Not on the same page so to speak. __________________ "To know the road ahead, ask those coming back".

08-23-2008, 11:22 AM
Slim Pikkens Started Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 2,936	If you have 50 or so feet of board fence ride parallel to the fence 6-8' away from it. When you wish him to stop, ask for a whoa, count to 2 as in 2 seconds-the time for the signal to go from his brain to his engine) then turn him into the fence. The fence will stop him. Allow him to relax, then turn and proceed along the fence. I'd do this 4 or five times each direction. He will learn that when you say whoa it's easier to do so than turn into the fence. When he's doing this nicely I'm a firm believer in putting him away. This is his greatest reward. He may do it even better the following day. Don't be surprised if he tests you but a repeat of what you've done previously will remind him. Be sure to use the word whoa only for whoa which means stop. By being consistant that is all you will need to say to stop forward motion.

08-23-2008, 12:12 PM
ahlihaff Greenbroke Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Western MA Posts: 3,584	I go along with the others' suggestions. However, if you find this horse and you are truly not a good match, I would suggest bringing your trainer, instructor or another trusted person whose opinion you value with you next time to go to buy a horse. Sometimes, we and the horse just don't click during a particular session. Other times, we just don't click at all.

08-23-2008, 04:09 PM
beckyp Seasoned Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: utica,ky Posts: 4,082	I would get frustrated with my TB gelding at times when we would be out riding and he would refuse to do something-crossing small puddles. Whenever I tried to be assertive it come to the point where he would refuse any commands and maybe do little rearing. I have since discovered that if I work with him at concentrating better at proper cues he does better now. Where he is now there is a creek that he will cross without any hesitation-he realized that anything I wanted him to do would not hurt him and he has learned to trust me and I have learned to work with him instead of fighting with him. Sometimes we all get frustrated,hopefully this too will pass. Try to get a trainer to help you and your horse-maybe an objective input will help you both. __________________ If not at home try the barn.

08-23-2008, 04:13 PM
karenf Weanling Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 493	It is hard to tell what the issue is, but it is difficult to do dressage with a horse and rider both needing to learn from scratch. I learned on an old mare who was push button. May be you can hang around instruction barns and take lessons on a different horse. Your horse sounds like it may not be a good horse for dressage. Quarter horses are not really built the best for it. They are great horses in their own disciplines, but, you might find a more suitable horse by hanging around others already involved in dressage who may want to sell their lower level horse.

08-23-2008, 11:21 PM
EquineAlberta Seasoned Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Alberta, Canada Posts: 4,425	Dressage should be about the process of learning and not about the end. That said, it is much more satisfying to learn it when your horse can at least do the basics, and has a good foundation so you can enjoy learning the fancier stuff. I wonder if your instructors learning style has anything to do with your frustration? Not every instructor works for every student. As for finding a horse...having a reasonible budget and paying for assistance is really the best way. Looking for a school master type with some years on him is usually the safest bet. Go to shows and see which trainers you like/respect and then ask if they have anything for sale in their barn. Around here you can get a very decent school master that is on the short side for under $5000.00. If you want something taller though, you have to be prepared to pay $$$$. Karen __________________ Hillside Stable, Ardrossan, AB Do unto others as you would have them do unto you...is it really that hard?

08-24-2008, 04:21 AM
Carri Bombproof Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Alpharetta, Georgia Posts: 9,984	I am sorry you are having these frustrations. You have gotten some really good advice so far. I am in the beginning stages of learning dressage also, and I can completely relate. One thing that has helped me with my circles is to pass E (or B) and count 3 strides, and then make the turn. You will probably have to adjust that for the size of your horse, but it is helping us. Keeping my horse bent to the inside is an issue, but we are working on it. Learning dressage is a slow process! On your halt: Try to stop his feet, and then relax completely, and let up on the reins, I know the temptation is there to keep pulling back to keep him stopped, but if you relax, he will too. Other than that, just keep trying! __________________

08-24-2008, 07:05 AM
rivervu2 Yearling Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Florida Posts: 915	I agree with KarenF, a lot of QH types are not suitable for dressage, especially if they've been ridden western and are really heavy on the forehand. They also have a difficult time reaching under with the hind leg because of their build. There are exceptions of course. If you can't afford a trained horse you may want to consider a lease. I leased a PSG level gelding while his owner was pregnant and learned so much from him. Often times people with really good horses don't want to give them up so will consider leasing.

08-24-2008, 08:25 AM
happyhorsehavenfarms Halter broke Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Tennessee Posts: 155	Frustration -Possible new prospect Thanks for all the advise...I think the QH has so many not so nice little tricks...I feel like I am chopping away at them. But, I also feel very frustrated. My trainer came out friday. We worked with him he did things he has never tried this far. Here I was telling her I thought we were making progress and then she comes out and I am not so sure she saw any of that..... Then Saturday was my lesson I was feeling so frustrated over my QH . I rode TB over there I love her she is so push button. It was like I did everything not the way it needed to be. 10 minutes into my ride I was in tears. That is not like me , I went home like a puppy with her tail between her legs..... I always like to improve at each lesson and this was not the case. I guess some of my frustration in I want to be able to trot around in my roundpen and pasture like I do at her place. Well I have QH that pushes on the bit has not brakes barely will go forward.....FRUSTRATION FRUSTRATION. So, I am looking at TB for sale in TN. What do you think???? I would like all opionions. Of course I would have to sell the QH first....... http://www.equine.com/horses-for-sale/horse-ad-670330.aspx

08-24-2008, 08:35 AM
Carri Bombproof Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Alpharetta, Georgia Posts: 9,984	He is really lovely! What level dressage are you looking for? He is currently doing beginner novice level eventing, the dressage is pretty low level (walk, trot, canter, circles, nothing too complicated as far as I know). __________________

08-24-2008, 09:06 AM
happyhorsehavenfarms Halter broke Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Tennessee Posts: 155	I am looking for level 1, I think he is nice looking....I am worried why the price is so low

08-24-2008, 10:17 AM
Lopin Coming two Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Home of Brett Favre Posts: 1,692	I would highly suggest taking your instructor or a trainer along with you while you are looking at horses. It will cost you (commission, etc) but finding the right horse will be worth it. We all get frustrated, even those of us that have been riding for a long time. We all have those days...hang in there. __________________ Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

08-24-2008, 10:33 AM
EquineAlberta Seasoned Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Alberta, Canada Posts: 4,425	I like the TB. She used to have him advertised for $4500, so I think the price is just that she needs to sell him quickly. Could also be that he failed a previous vet check, but that might not be a problem for you. I would come right out and ask about the price (on the phone, not in an email...so if there is an issue that caused the price drop they have less time to think up a story) If he could event in an eggbutt snaffle, then I am guessing he is sane enough. Karen __________________ Hillside Stable, Ardrossan, AB Do unto others as you would have them do unto you...is it really that hard?

08-24-2008, 11:29 AM
happyhorsehavenfarms Halter broke Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Tennessee Posts: 155	I am just waiting for the TB owner to call me. I am getting a little excited. But, then I would need how to sell my Quarter Horse he needs some work he pushed on the bit. Any ideas how to list him. I am going to take my trainer with me when I go to ride him....I promise my husband we will stay at 2 horses due to the price of hay in my area.

08-24-2008, 07:55 PM
happyhorsehavenfarms Halter broke Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Tennessee Posts: 155	Bad news on the TB navicular and has his hocks injected twice a year oh but the owner says he has no problems......I will search on

08-25-2008, 09:30 AM
Carri Bombproof Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Alpharetta, Georgia Posts: 9,984	Oh, that's not good! At least she told you, though... __________________