and then the fight started....some morning funnies

paso_lover · 07-30-2008, 02:54 AM

Coming home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace
expensive.... so, I took her to a gas station..... and then the fight
started....

************************************************** **********************

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social
Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to
verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at
home.

I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and
come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.

So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver
hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social
Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social
Security office.

She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten
disability, too'

And then the fight started.....

************************************************** *********************

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I
kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a
nearby table.

My wife asked,'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend.
I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years
ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating
that long?'

And then the fight started.....

************************************************** *********************

I rear-ended a car this morning.

So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of
his car.

You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just
seem funny?

Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!!

He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT
HAPPY!!!'

So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'

And then the fight started.....

short_kid · 07-30-2008, 04:22 AM

The last one has me in tears.

Thunderz Gurlz · 07-30-2008, 01:28 PM

Hahaha

SpotADots4Me · 07-30-2008, 01:33 PM

my cousin and I enjoyed that one at the office .

Thanks

99horses · 07-30-2008, 01:34 PM

Those are great.

ahlihaff · 07-30-2008, 05:12 PM

Funny.

CowhorseGal · 07-30-2008, 05:17 PM

Wolfie · 08-02-2008, 12:31 AM

Those are great!

grannycowgirl · 08-02-2008, 07:57 AM

Gemni · 08-02-2008, 09:49 AM

Thats a good one!!

Golden Beauties · 08-05-2008, 11:07 PM

That 2nd one is too good!!

annag307 · 08-05-2008, 11:13 PM

Those are awesome!

Thanks, I will have to share those with my friends and family.
It definatly brought a smile to my day.

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07-30-2008, 02:54 AM
paso_lover Seasoned Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Sudbury Ontario Canada Posts: 4,579	and then the fight started....some morning funnies Coming home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive.... so, I took her to a gas station..... and then the fight started.... ************************************************ ****************** After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application. When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too' And then the fight started..... ********************************************** ***************** My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked,'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.' 'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?' And then the fight started..... ********************************************** ******************* I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!' So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?' And then the fight started..... __________________ "I wish I was half the rider she thinks she is" \"Some people feel compelled to cut off the heads of others in order to make themselves appear taller\" ---Paramahansa Yoginanda

07-30-2008, 04:22 AM
short_kid Started Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: michigan Posts: 2,068	The last one has me in tears. __________________ Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.

07-30-2008, 01:28 PM
Thunderz Gurlz Greenbroke Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: South West Michigan Posts: 3,802	Hahaha __________________ Proud Owner To Pogo 15 yr old Quarter Pony Mare Thunder 30 yr old Hackney/Quarter Pony Gelding

07-30-2008, 01:33 PM
SpotADots4Me Yearling Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Sarasota, FL Posts: 624	my cousin and I enjoyed that one at the office . Thanks __________________ oops, I did it again

07-30-2008, 01:34 PM
99horses Greenbroke Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Pennsylvania Posts: 3,230	Those are great. __________________ Janet I'm your huckleberry.-Doc Holliday

07-30-2008, 05:12 PM
ahlihaff Greenbroke Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Western MA Posts: 3,652	Funny.

07-30-2008, 05:17 PM
CowhorseGal Weanling Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Idaho Posts: 345	__________________ The more I know men the more I like my dog

08-02-2008, 12:31 AM
Wolfie Coming two Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: US Posts: 1,547	Those are great!

08-02-2008, 07:57 AM
grannycowgirl Weanling Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: southern U.S. Posts: 239	__________________ If you find some happiness inside yourself, you'll start finding it in a lot of other places, too. www.simplykonawhim.etsy.com

08-02-2008, 09:49 AM
Gemni Yearling Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: East Central, Minnesota Posts: 801	Thats a good one!! __________________ When life hands you lemons, just add the liquor and you got yourself some lemonade

08-05-2008, 11:07 PM
Golden Beauties Newborn Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 47	That 2nd one is too good!!

08-05-2008, 11:13 PM
annag307 Coming two Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Pueblo, CO Posts: 1,958	Those are awesome! Thanks, I will have to share those with my friends and family. It definatly brought a smile to my day. __________________ "When all else fails & your feeling blue. Put on your shoes & go shovel some pooo!" http://groups.msn.com/AgsWebpage/shoebox.msnw http://www.putfile.com/annag307