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Old 07-30-2008, 02:54 AM  
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and then the fight started....some morning funnies

Coming home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace
expensive.... so, I took her to a gas station..... and then the fight
started....

************************************************** **********************

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social
Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to
verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at
home.

I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and
come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.

So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver
hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social
Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social
Security office.

She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten
disability, too'

And then the fight started.....

************************************************** *********************

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I
kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a
nearby table.

My wife asked,'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend.
I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years
ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating
that long?'

And then the fight started.....

************************************************** *********************

I rear-ended a car this morning.

So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of
his car.

You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just
seem funny?

Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!!

He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT
HAPPY!!!'

So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'

And then the fight started.....
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Old 07-30-2008, 04:22 AM  
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The last one has me in tears.
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Old 07-30-2008, 01:28 PM  
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Hahaha
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Old 07-30-2008, 01:33 PM  
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my cousin and I enjoyed that one at the office . Thanks
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Old 07-30-2008, 01:34 PM  
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Those are great.
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Old 07-30-2008, 05:12 PM  
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Funny.
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Old 07-30-2008, 05:17 PM  
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Old 08-02-2008, 12:31 AM  
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Those are great!
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Old 08-02-2008, 07:57 AM  
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Old 08-02-2008, 09:49 AM  
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Thats a good one!!
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Old 08-05-2008, 11:07 PM  
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That 2nd one is too good!!
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Old 08-05-2008, 11:13 PM  
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Those are awesome!

Thanks, I will have to share those with my friends and family.
It definatly brought a smile to my day.
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