Identification of the Female Equestrian...

Valerie62 · 03-03-2009, 12:59 PM

How many can YOU identify with?????

• EASY TO LOCATE. She's either off on the horse or out in the barn.

• UPHOLDS THE DOUBLE STANDARD. Smooches with the most bewhiskered beast, but recoils when you need a shave.

• OWNS ONE VACUUM CLEANER and operates it exclusively in the barn.

• A SOCIAL BUTTERFLY, providing the party is given by another horsey wife. Falls asleep in her soup at all other functions.

• ECONOMY MINDED. Won't waste your money on permanents, facials, or manicures.

• A CULINARY PERFECTIONIST. Checks every section of hay for mold but doesn't blink when she petrifies your dinner in the microwave.

• OCCASIONALLY AMOROUS, but never leaves lipstick on your collar, at worst, slight trace of chapstick.

• EASY TO OUTFIT. No need for embarrassing visits to uncomfortable little boutiques. You can find all she wears at your local tackstore.

• FEATURES A SELECTIVE SENSE OF SMELL. Bitterly complains about your sticky-sweet cigar smoke while remaining totally oblivious to the almost visible aroma of her barn boots drying next to the heater.

• UNMISTAKABLE IN A BATHING SUIT. She's the one whose tan starts at the nose, ends at the neck, and picks up again at the wrists

• A DEDICATED CLUB WOMAN, as long as the words "horse" or "riding" appear in its name.

• HAS YOUR LEISURE AT HEART. Eliminates grass cutting by turning every square inch of lawn into pasture which, in turn, converts itself into mud.

• A MASTER AT MULTIPLICATION. She starts with one horse, adds a companion, and if it's a mare, she breeds it.

• KEEPS AN EAGLE EYE ON THE BUDGET. Easily justifies spending six hundred dollars, but croaks when you blow ten on a tie.

• AN ENGAGING CONVERSATIONALIST. Can rattle on endlessly about training.

• SOCIALLY AWARE. Knows that formal occasions call for clean boots.

• A MOVING FORCE IN THE FAMILY. House by house, she'll get you to move closer to horse country (and farther away from your job.)

• EASY TO PLEASE. A new wheelbarrow, custom boots, or even a folding hoof pick will win her heart forever.

• SENTIMENTAL FOOL. Displays a minimum of six 8x10 color photos of the horse in the house and carries a crumpled snapshot of you (taken before you were married) somewhere in the bottom of her purse.

• SHOWS HER AFFECTION IN UNUSUAL WAYS. If she pats you on the neck and says "you're a good boy," believe it or not, she loves you!

FLQuarterhorse39 · 03-03-2009, 01:20 PM

• EASY TO LOCATE. She's either off on the horse or out in the barn.
• A SOCIAL BUTTERFLY, providing the party is given by another horsey wife. Falls asleep in her soup at all other functions.
• FEATURES A SELECTIVE SENSE OF SMELL. Bitterly complains about your sticky-sweet cigar smoke while remaining totally oblivious to the almost visible aroma of her barn boots drying next to the heater.
• A DEDICATED CLUB WOMAN, as long as the words "horse" or "riding" appear in its name.
• A MASTER AT MULTIPLICATION. She starts with one horse, adds a companion, and if it's a mare, she breeds it.
• KEEPS AN EAGLE EYE ON THE BUDGET. Easily justifies spending six hundred dollars, but croaks when you blow ten on a tie.
• AN ENGAGING CONVERSATIONALIST. Can rattle on endlessly about training.
• SOCIALLY AWARE. Knows that formal occasions call for clean boots.
• EASY TO PLEASE. A new wheelbarrow, custom boots, or even a folding hoof pick will win her heart forever.
• SENTIMENTAL FOOL. Displays a minimum of six 8x10 color photos of the horse in the house and carries a crumpled snapshot of you (taken before you were married) somewhere in the bottom of her purse.

Yeah I think that covers it.

cleo-bo-beo · 03-03-2009, 01:34 PM

too many to admit...

melmel · 03-03-2009, 01:54 PM

I absolutely love this. So true, so true.

Gotta Love Duns · 03-03-2009, 02:07 PM

I think I said yup way too many times!

merleliz · 03-04-2009, 09:03 PM

Well, I don't vacuum in the barn or wear a bathing suit. Ever.

Crookedblaze · 03-04-2009, 09:09 PM

You forgot one!

Easilly identified in stores: a.) you can smell her b.) ring of horse sweat, hair, and dirt around her butt from riding the horse bareback back to the pasture.

Dustygirl · 03-04-2009, 09:13 PM

Ha! For all of those men that say they can't figure us women-folks out.....this seems pretty clear and simple to me!

Carri · 03-05-2009, 06:35 AM

That is definitely me! I would forward this to my hubby, but it might open his eyes to things he hadn't realized!

minnowline · 03-05-2009, 03:52 PM

.....you own a vaccum cleaner

..how about when people pick hay out of your hair when you show up at work!

Rhiannon · 03-07-2009, 07:16 PM

Hmmm...all those descriptions fit pretty close to home, don't you think???

I'd say whoever wrote that has all of us pretty well pegged...

mistypony10 · 03-26-2009, 09:31 AM

You forgot. . .
you are on a first name basis with the people at the horse auctions you see ever so often, but can't always remember your co-workers' first name!
I'm guilty of that one

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03-03-2009, 12:59 PM
Valerie62 Long Yearling Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Washington, PA Posts: 1,100	Identification of the Female Equestrian... How many can YOU identify with????? • EASY TO LOCATE. She's either off on the horse or out in the barn. • UPHOLDS THE DOUBLE STANDARD. Smooches with the most bewhiskered beast, but recoils when you need a shave. • OWNS ONE VACUUM CLEANER and operates it exclusively in the barn. • A SOCIAL BUTTERFLY, providing the party is given by another horsey wife. Falls asleep in her soup at all other functions. • ECONOMY MINDED. Won't waste your money on permanents, facials, or manicures. • A CULINARY PERFECTIONIST. Checks every section of hay for mold but doesn't blink when she petrifies your dinner in the microwave. • OCCASIONALLY AMOROUS, but never leaves lipstick on your collar, at worst, slight trace of chapstick. • EASY TO OUTFIT. No need for embarrassing visits to uncomfortable little boutiques. You can find all she wears at your local tackstore. • FEATURES A SELECTIVE SENSE OF SMELL. Bitterly complains about your sticky-sweet cigar smoke while remaining totally oblivious to the almost visible aroma of her barn boots drying next to the heater. • UNMISTAKABLE IN A BATHING SUIT. She's the one whose tan starts at the nose, ends at the neck, and picks up again at the wrists • A DEDICATED CLUB WOMAN, as long as the words "horse" or "riding" appear in its name. • HAS YOUR LEISURE AT HEART. Eliminates grass cutting by turning every square inch of lawn into pasture which, in turn, converts itself into mud. • A MASTER AT MULTIPLICATION. She starts with one horse, adds a companion, and if it's a mare, she breeds it. • KEEPS AN EAGLE EYE ON THE BUDGET. Easily justifies spending six hundred dollars, but croaks when you blow ten on a tie. • AN ENGAGING CONVERSATIONALIST. Can rattle on endlessly about training. • SOCIALLY AWARE. Knows that formal occasions call for clean boots. • A MOVING FORCE IN THE FAMILY. House by house, she'll get you to move closer to horse country (and farther away from your job.) • EASY TO PLEASE. A new wheelbarrow, custom boots, or even a folding hoof pick will win her heart forever. • SENTIMENTAL FOOL. Displays a minimum of six 8x10 color photos of the horse in the house and carries a crumpled snapshot of you (taken before you were married) somewhere in the bottom of her purse. • SHOWS HER AFFECTION IN UNUSUAL WAYS. If she pats you on the neck and says "you're a good boy," believe it or not, she loves you! __________________ *There's more to life than horses ----- but NOT much!*

03-03-2009, 01:20 PM
FLQuarterhorse39 Long Yearling Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: MacClenny, Florida Posts: 1,152	• EASY TO LOCATE. She's either off on the horse or out in the barn. • A SOCIAL BUTTERFLY, providing the party is given by another horsey wife. Falls asleep in her soup at all other functions. • FEATURES A SELECTIVE SENSE OF SMELL. Bitterly complains about your sticky-sweet cigar smoke while remaining totally oblivious to the almost visible aroma of her barn boots drying next to the heater. • A DEDICATED CLUB WOMAN, as long as the words "horse" or "riding" appear in its name. • A MASTER AT MULTIPLICATION. She starts with one horse, adds a companion, and if it's a mare, she breeds it. • KEEPS AN EAGLE EYE ON THE BUDGET. Easily justifies spending six hundred dollars, but croaks when you blow ten on a tie. • AN ENGAGING CONVERSATIONALIST. Can rattle on endlessly about training. • SOCIALLY AWARE. Knows that formal occasions call for clean boots. • EASY TO PLEASE. A new wheelbarrow, custom boots, or even a folding hoof pick will win her heart forever. • SENTIMENTAL FOOL. Displays a minimum of six 8x10 color photos of the horse in the house and carries a crumpled snapshot of you (taken before you were married) somewhere in the bottom of her purse. Yeah I think that covers it. __________________ I'm proud of my sailor!

03-03-2009, 01:34 PM
cleo-bo-beo Weanling Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: New York Posts: 355	too many to admit...

03-03-2009, 01:54 PM
melmel Halter broke Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Lawton, OK Posts: 162	I absolutely love this. So true, so true.

03-03-2009, 02:07 PM
Gotta Love Duns Bombproof Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Santa's Backyard Posts: 11,471	I think I said yup way too many times! __________________ A penny saved is a penny you can spend on your next horse. http://nightfireranch.webs.com/index.htm

03-04-2009, 09:03 PM
merleliz Seasoned Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Fairburn, Georgia Posts: 4,985	Well, I don't vacuum in the barn or wear a bathing suit. Ever. __________________ Vote for Dusty Trails Horse Rescue! Please vote for DTHR daily at: http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com/clickToGive/shelterchallenge.faces?siteId=3

03-04-2009, 09:09 PM
Crookedblaze Greenbroke Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: San Diego, CA Posts: 3,326	You forgot one! Easilly identified in stores: a.) you can smell her b.) ring of horse sweat, hair, and dirt around her butt from riding the horse bareback back to the pasture. __________________ Missing Rocket, who now lives in Orange County with his 2 little girls. Four things greater than all things are...Women and Horses and Power and War -Rudyard Kipling

03-04-2009, 09:13 PM
Dustygirl Weanling Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: North Carolina Posts: 261	Ha! For all of those men that say they can't figure us women-folks out.....this seems pretty clear and simple to me! __________________ Most humans never shut up long enough to realize that animals do speak....with their souls!

03-05-2009, 06:35 AM
Carri Pasture Pet Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Alpharetta, Georgia Posts: 14,063	That is definitely me! I would forward this to my hubby, but it might open his eyes to things he hadn't realized!

03-05-2009, 03:52 PM
minnowline Weanling Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Atikokan, Ontario Posts: 226	.....you own a vaccum cleaner ..how about when people pick hay out of your hair when you show up at work!

03-07-2009, 07:16 PM
Rhiannon Yearling Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Lacey, WA Posts: 660	Hmmm...all those descriptions fit pretty close to home, don't you think??? I'd say whoever wrote that has all of us pretty well pegged...

03-26-2009, 09:31 AM
mistypony10 Halter broke Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Withee, Wi Posts: 51	You forgot. . . you are on a first name basis with the people at the horse auctions you see ever so often, but can't always remember your co-workers' first name! I'm guilty of that one