Letter to cats and dogs

dalaja3 · 08-30-2008, 07:13 PM

AN OPEN LETTER TO CATS AND DOGS

Dear Dogs and Cats,

When I say to move, it means to go someplace else -- not to switch positions with each other so there are still two of you in the way.

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food.

The other dishes are mine and contain my food.

Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR, and is not a racetrack.

Beating me to the bottom is not the object.

Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king-sized bed.

I am very sorry about this.

Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort.

Dogs and cats actually curl up in a ball when they sleep.

It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible.

I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom.

If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open.

I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years --- canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.

The proper order is kiss me --- then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:

RULES FOR NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT
AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS

1. They live here. You don't.

2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it 'fur'niture).

3. I like my pets a lot better than most people.

4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

Dogs and cats are better than kids . . . they eat less, don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink, don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, and don't need a gazillion dollars for college.

Carri · 08-30-2008, 07:23 PM

I love it!

Horses&Soccer · 08-30-2008, 07:29 PM

Purr-fect, you get a paws up! Or a high-four.

BabyMay · 08-30-2008, 09:02 PM

Amen!

Rusty's Girl · 08-30-2008, 09:07 PM

I loved it! Very accurate.

Raaslita · 08-31-2008, 09:41 AM

That is to cute...

Thanks for the laugh..

breburtch · 08-31-2008, 09:49 AM

hehe I love it and all so very true lol I don't know how many times I've been shoved off my bed by a dog or tripped on the stairs by a cat lol

EquineAlberta · 08-31-2008, 11:54 AM

I loved it!

For my four legged feline friend I would add that the computer keyboard is NOT a bed.

Karen

CowhorseGal · 08-31-2008, 12:14 PM

Thanks for the chuckle!

rm185western · 08-31-2008, 12:45 PM

Loved it

I see I'm not the only one who has to share a couch with a 14lb JRT who takes up 2/3 of the space

ahlihaff · 08-31-2008, 02:29 PM

northstar_paints · 08-31-2008, 02:51 PM

so true.....

HorseMomToSage · 08-31-2008, 06:10 PM

I love it! I just read it to my "pack" and my girl barely looked up and the deaf dane has learned that if he doesn't make eye contact he doesn't have to obey. We really need a version for horses

minilover101 · 08-31-2008, 09:27 PM

That is too cute...and true!

Steph · 09-26-2008, 08:33 AM

Oh my God, how funny are you!!!! Did you write this?

bakinthesaddle · 09-26-2008, 10:05 PM

So cute. I especially like the rules for non pet owner visitors. That is so true!!!
I had company one day and I have 3 boxers and a toy poodle. Well this guy made a comment about either dog hair or dog drool. He didnt say it in a mean way, he kinda joked about it... Well I said well I love dogs.... this is my house ....and I have dogs.

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08-30-2008, 07:13 PM
dalaja3 Newborn Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: zephyrhills,florida Posts: 20	Letter to cats and dogs AN OPEN LETTER TO CATS AND DOGS Dear Dogs and Cats, When I say to move, it means to go someplace else -- not to switch positions with each other so there are still two of you in the way. The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest. The stairway was not designed by NASCAR, and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run. I cannot buy anything bigger than a king-sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm. For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years --- canine or feline attendance is not mandatory. The proper order is kiss me --- then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough! To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door: RULES FOR NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS 1. They live here. You don't. 2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it 'fur'niture). 3. I like my pets a lot better than most people. 4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly. Dogs and cats are better than kids . . . they eat less, don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink, don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, and don't need a gazillion dollars for college.

08-30-2008, 07:23 PM
Carri Bombproof Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Alpharetta, Georgia Posts: 10,086	I love it! __________________

08-30-2008, 07:29 PM
Horses&Soccer Started Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Warrenton, MO Posts: 2,788	Purr-fect, you get a paws up! Or a high-four. __________________ When life gives you lemons - find someone to throw them at!

08-30-2008, 09:02 PM
BabyMay Coming two Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Wisconsin Posts: 1,890	Amen! __________________ Animals don't need a reason to love.

08-30-2008, 09:07 PM
Rusty's Girl Yearling Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Ontario Posts: 802	I loved it! Very accurate.

08-31-2008, 09:41 AM
Raaslita Weanling Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Moreno Valley, CA Posts: 350	That is to cute... Thanks for the laugh.. __________________ Life with out a horse, is not having a life.. RIP Littlebit 1997-2008,life without you will never be the same

08-31-2008, 09:49 AM
breburtch Coming two Join Date: May 2008 Location: Ennismore, Ontario Posts: 1,899	hehe I love it and all so very true lol I don't know how many times I've been shoved off my bed by a dog or tripped on the stairs by a cat lol

08-31-2008, 11:54 AM
EquineAlberta Seasoned Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Alberta, Canada Posts: 4,459	I loved it! For my four legged feline friend I would add that the computer keyboard is NOT a bed. Karen __________________ Hillside Stable, Ardrossan, AB Do unto others as you would have them do unto you...is it really that hard?

08-31-2008, 12:14 PM
CowhorseGal Weanling Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Idaho Posts: 345	Thanks for the chuckle! __________________ The more I know men the more I like my dog

08-31-2008, 12:45 PM
rm185western Greenbroke Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Saskatchewan,Canada Posts: 3,650	Loved it I see I'm not the only one who has to share a couch with a 14lb JRT who takes up 2/3 of the space __________________ ________________________________ Okay, who put a stop payment on my reality check?

08-31-2008, 02:51 PM
northstar_paints Weanling Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: auburn, washington Posts: 296	so true..... __________________ The Victory Isn\'t Always To The Strong, Nor The Race To The Swift..... However, That Isn\'t A Bad Way To Be. D. Wane Lucas

08-31-2008, 02:29 PM
ahlihaff Greenbroke Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Western MA Posts: 3,635

08-31-2008, 06:10 PM
HorseMomToSage Coming two Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: A Whole Other Country-TX Of Course Posts: 1,501	I love it! I just read it to my "pack" and my girl barely looked up and the deaf dane has learned that if he doesn't make eye contact he doesn't have to obey. We really need a version for horses __________________ Just when the caterpillar thought it was the end of the world, it became a butterfly

08-31-2008, 09:27 PM
minilover101 Weanling Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Kentucky Posts: 426	That is too cute...and true! __________________ Happy Thanksgiving... ...from all of my animal family!

09-26-2008, 08:33 AM
Steph Halter broke Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Potrero, California Posts: 166	Oh my God, how funny are you!!!! Did you write this? __________________ Timmy's Mom A sigh from your horse is better than one from your lover

09-26-2008, 10:05 PM
bakinthesaddle Newborn Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Peach Bottom, Pa. Posts: 43	So cute. I especially like the rules for non pet owner visitors. That is so true!!! I had company one day and I have 3 boxers and a toy poodle. Well this guy made a comment about either dog hair or dog drool. He didnt say it in a mean way, he kinda joked about it... Well I said well I love dogs.... this is my house ....and I have dogs.