Naughty Kitty!

[Lady_MCSE]

I need to feel better about allowing my evil brat cat to roam the house. What's the worst thing YOUR cat has done?



Evil brat cat Boxer decided a long time ago that the dining room table belonged to him. I was not allowed to put anything on said dining room table, or I would be punished severely.

The very first time he ever did it was with my CRUISE tickets to Alaska!!! This was about four years ago. I had just gotten them in the mail, was totally excited over them. Sat at the dining room table to look through everything for a while. Then left them there, along with the rest of my massive pile of junkmail.

The next day, my cruise tickets were yellow. How on earth did he manage to figure out what exactly would raise my ire most, out of that whole pile of mail?!?!?

I literally washed everything in the sink and let it dry outside in the sun. Was able to get rid of the yellowy appearance and the clerk accepting them at the cruise line never said a word about them being wrinkly from having been wet.

Yes, yes, I had him tested by the vet immediately. In fact I had three cats, and since I wasn't sure, I had all three of them checked both urine and blood (expensive!) . .. everything came back negative.

For the next couple of years, I learned that he just felt that he owned that silly table. As long as I kept my stuff off it, we had an understanding. I bought a thick plastic cover for the table anyway, but basically we had a routine down, and life went on without me killing him.

Then a year later, I needed a home equity loan. A loan officer came to my house, and we did all the paperwork there at the dining room table. When it was all finished and she was gone, I got a phone call from a friend from grad school \ high school. I went upstairs and we chatted for an hour or two. Lot of catching up to do.

Came downstairs, and MY MORTGAGE PAPERWORK WAS YELLOW!!!!!!

What brings this to mind, you ask? Well, I'm trying to sell the house, and so I just had to go back into the safe and drag out my smelly paperwork . . . sheesh, this is going to be so embarrassing at closing day. Should I come to the closing with latex gloves for everyone? Suppose my lawyer is going to fine me a biohazard surcharge?


Please please please, tell me what your naughty kitties have done so I can feel a little bit better about this.

[DriftwoodAcres]

this isn't as bad but I still like to tell it We had one of our outdoor cats indoors and all went to watch a show. We came back into the kitchen after the hour show and the gerbil cage was on the floor, one the cat scampering away, and a LOT of mess. Naturally I screamed and went after the cat, which had a the poor gerbil in his mouth(live) I got the cat to drop it but it was still scary.... lets say that cat didn't come inside anymore......

[snwflk]

Well when my hubby and I first got together , we adopted our kitty, siryn from the pound- Wonderful kitty- well I hadnt moved in yet , but apparently when I left, that made kittySAD- and well hubby (bf at the time) wasnt very good at cleaning litter box= sooooo I leave to go to my house at the time, hubby lays down his jacket (which by the way I HATED- it was UGLY!!) anyways- he lays it down on the couch- and litter box was RIGHT NEXT TO the couch/futon in the guest room- well kitty wasnt happy that litter box wasnt very clean so.... she PEEEEEEEEEd on the ugly jacket !! (secretly I was sooo happy- remember I hated that jacket it looked awful on him ) hehehe.. I did try to clean the jacket but opps sorry honey the smell wont come out ! heheheh Including a pic of the offender hehehe

[tallyho]

hmmmm......where do I begin???.........i have a quilt from 1902 that is signed and dated in embroidery.............it hangs on the wall in the hallway. When 2 of my kittens were babes, they decided to climb the quilt, then sliiiiiiiide bak dowm while claws were out. Needless to say looks like a paper shredder got too close to the quilt.
They have gotten into grocery bags containing meet or lunchmeat in the short time it takes to go back outside for another load of groceries.

With 5 of my 7 cats only reaching a year old this Sept, there has been alot of destruction this past year.....breaking vases, picture frames, appliances knocked on the floor, many many scratches and punctures in my long -awaited for English leather Hunt Club sofa (shoe polish covers it well), woodwork and doors clawed when they are shut out of somewhere they think they deserve to be, clawed bedspreads, and one guy likes to chew whatever book I am currently reading............apparently he feels it takes valuable cuddling time away from him.....

[NoniMe]

My 'queen', Charlotte, whenever she gets pissy, gets pissy. One night, I booted her off the bed because I wanted the leg room. A few hours later, I woke up to a warmth sliding up my leg. I moved my leg, and realized it wasn't 'warmth', it was pee...

Yes, she peed on me, while I slept, in my bed. Just because she got evicted from the blankets.

You're not alone. Not at all.

Best-
Noni

[Lady_MCSE]

Oh thank you Noni, that made me feel better!

And I can just see the kittens having a field day with a kitty equivalent of a rock wall!

[Mav2007]

My cat sat on a plate of cookies that were my roomates. I didn't like that roomate anyway, so I think I "forgot" to mention to him that my cat's butt had been on his chocolate chip cookies.

I had another cat, claw a hole in the bottom of the couch and then she'd crawl around inside the couch.

[gailfinney]

a few years ago i was in charge of getting the birthday cake for my boss who was the commissioner of revenue of the county.. i was so afraid something would go wrong, but when i picked it up, it was beautiful. i left it on the kitchen table overnight and when i got up the next morning to take it to work, i found my cat sleeping on top of the box, which was squished in and the cake had a huge cat bodyprint in the top... i panicked but my aunt who took a cake decorating class redecorated it for me and brought it to me at work in time for the birthday party.
my cats have also let in all sorts of critters through the cat door, ive come home to live squirrels. birds and chipmunks running through my house... the last cat i had died recently of old age (she was 20) and i miss those guys so much.

[breburtch]

I had a cat that would pee on anything of my brothers and dads. She never used to but after my brother kicked her across the room because she wouldn't leave him alone and my dad sprayed her with water for scratching at his couch she held a huge grudge on them. She'd pee in my brothers bed and on my dads side of the bed and anything that belonged to them she'd pee on. Never once pee'd on mine my sister or moms stuff just my dads and brothers. Finally had to get rid of her because she wouldn't stop no matter what we tried.
Her new home treats her like a princess and so far she hasn't gotten made at anyone and pee'd on there things it's been 3 years since she went to the new home.

[HorseMomToSage]

This still gives me the hopping up and down heebee jeebies but one night my boo-boo kitty swung at one of our dogs and I yelled at her and swatted he on the bottom. Everyone knows you don't discipline a cat Well I get into bed later that night and I said to my husband "why are there grapes in the bed?" Well, it took a few minutes to kick in and I yelled at my husband to turn on the lights-I took a look and screamed THEY AREN'T GRAPES-Boo Boo Kitty had left me little cat doodles in the bed. Eww Eww Eww!!!

[arabiancowgirl]

ewww!

[HorseMomToSage]

I know....we burned the sheets, and the bed and I took a bath in bleach-still feel icky

[Lady_MCSE]

Oh my, kitty vengeance is not a good thing!

[snwflk]

Okay so when we brought home a kitten , we let the kitten stay in the office we had, so that the other cat and the kitten could get used to each other over a weeks time. WELLLLLLL second night in to the "week" , Siryn, the big cat was "MAD" at me , her mama, for bringin' home this other "thing" - so I was SOUND asleep, and it was the middle of the night. I was laying on my left side , so my arm was hanging off the bed. Well miss siryn CLAWED MY WRIST- I woke up screaming and my wrist had blood on it.! - I looked down and there was siryn. SHE HISSED at me then took off, as if to say " HA! that is what you get!!" - Well needless to say she loves me again as well as the other cat, but I still to this day cant sleep with my arm hanging off the side of the bed- Naughty Kitteh!!

[Orchid]

I had a cat throw a dead mouse in with me while I was showering one time. He was so proud, and I was SO surprised.

My dear, dim husband (just kidding, but this particular act was not his finest moment) threw a cleaned grouse carcass in the kitchen garbage one night after grouse hunting; this was the one and only time my Radar cat has ever gotten into the garbage. We came home from the movies to find the entire house covered in grouse feathers and hide. Couldn't help but laugh at the ridiculously satisfied look on Radar's face, either.

[OSUJillyBean]

My cat has brought me this in the middle of the night!






She also tries to move in with Hammie.




Let's see, she's also a raging alcoholic.




She also destroyed these blinds.

[Lady_MCSE]

Yeah, we have the problem with blinds too . . . for nine years I've lived in this house and the four windows of the den have never had any kind of covering at all. It was second floor, and it's just a den, not like I was changing clothes in there or anything, so I kept thinking I was gonna plop $400 down on some fancy shades some day.

Finally one day (as I was contemplating selling the house), I sort of did a double-take at how cheap regular old white blinds are at Ye Olde Target . . . I think they were something like $4 apiece (?). So I finally got them installed a few weeks ago (after they sat in unopened boxes for months). And they have become great kitty playtoys.

But at least they were under $20 for all of them.

[Shepdog]

My old cat Han hated my mother. Really hated. She swatted him once, and that was all it took, he held a grudge for ninteen years.

So, she was out visiting and put her coat on the sofa. He peed in one coat pocket, and cheerfully pooped in the other.

I have to say, I was dutifully impressed by his dexterity.

And, one of them peed on my business taxes one year. I did my best, but... yeah, not cool, kitties.

[Lady_MCSE]

Man, I had no idea these guys could be so SPECIFIC in what they do. Wow! I guess I'm glad that I'm not alone!

[taelesean]

I once had two cats. One loved to do nothing better than to play fetch with a small super ball. He had many, I'd gotten a bag of them at the dollar store.

Strangely enough, though, the number of balls began to dwindle. First one, then another, then suddenly they were gone within hours of being released into the house! And they were no-where to be found. Simply gone, there weren't even bits of them in the litterbox.

Then one day I gave the fetching cat several balls all at once. Shortly afterward, I observe the other cat pushing a ball up the baseboard of the kitchen cabinets - then the ball got to the top and POOF! it was gone. The little witch was punishing her brother for the attention he got playing fetch by secreting his balls under the cabinets! The sad part was that there was no way to get them back, we were renting the house (but I did close off the openings with cardboard and duct tape, and the cat was sooooo mad the next time she tried to lose another ball )