Why tonight lord why tonight

farmergal · 09-29-2007, 09:27 PM

On one of the toughest days my granddaughter (age 6) has ever had to deal with. She said her final goodbyes to her great grandpa today. That was a very big load for a little girl with the heart of gold. And now I have to tell her that her kitten China got hit by a car. Of all the kittens why China. I just don't understand. I'm so glad that she was not here. Ken came and got her so she could spend the night at his house. That I am thankful for.

The couple was so apologetic. I told them that we had just come home from a funeral and I didn't want my granddaughter to see her so the man helped me hide her til I can get her properly disposed of. I'll take China outback and bury her tomorrow. I'm just not sure if I should tell my granddaughter and have her be a part or just tell her she's gone. I'm expecting her tomorrow afternoon.

China was a very affectionate kitten with a chainsaw purr. I'm going to miss her "in your face" attitude.

OhBaby,Vega · 09-29-2007, 09:31 PM

My condolences on both occasions, many prayers and thoughts headed that way

gingerfleguel · 09-29-2007, 09:35 PM

Sooo sorry about this ((((HUGS)))) as for telling your daughter the truth....I would say avoid it ....unless she asks....like you said just tell her that the kitten has ran away ....My dad used that on me when i was a little girl ...but as you grow older you definately realize...but then you are old enough to understand...she is already going through a tough event in her life with her grandpa you dont want to add more stress ...Best of luck to you

HorseMomToSage · 09-29-2007, 09:40 PM

I worked Victim's Assistance with the Sheriff's Office in my county and I agree with Ginger. It may not be something she is up for, the rule was always that you know your child best and you know her level of understanding and to tailor it. One note, don't refer to death as "sleeping" a lot of people do this and it can make the child scared to go to sleep. You are her Nana and obviously love her so you will make the right decision-my heart aches that this happened at a time when there was already so much grief-perhaps her motor boat purr was needed for someone upstairs. You and your family are in my prayers.

**gbarmranch** · 09-29-2007, 09:43 PM

I am so sorry.. you have had enough to deal with without this..

I would not tell her either - just that the kitty must have wandered away - she is so young, I am sure that a little white lie will be foregiven..

gingerfleguel · 09-29-2007, 09:49 PM

ya know whats really weird...is that today we just gave away a kitten that was identical to that one...infact I think i have a picture of it here somewhere....here

farmergal · 09-29-2007, 09:52 PM

I think you may be right. A little white lie might be what's needed. I don't however agree that saying it ran away is the answer. If the kitten loved her why would it run away. I think I'll tell her that she must be around here someplace. Maybe out catching mice.

And yes it could be that she was needed in heaven. Great grandpa loved cats.

TxHorseMom · 09-29-2007, 10:28 PM

As said before, you know best, but I think I would try to be as honest as possible, without getting graphic.

Grandpa needing a kitty might be the way to go.

I'm so sorry that your're going through all of this.

recklesshoundog · 09-30-2007, 11:00 AM

I agree just telling her she went to be with grandpa in heaven will be fine. She's probably so numb right now it will all just blend together.

Hugs to you and the little one for a rough week.

Bandit · 09-30-2007, 07:49 PM

I would also say that the kitten went to be with grandpa. If you tell her the kitten ran away she may continue to hold on to the hope that the kitten will come home.

Pony express · 09-30-2007, 08:27 PM

How sad, I'm so very sorry for both your losses.

**divinemisselle** · 09-30-2007, 08:49 PM

(((hugs))) all the way around for you and yours, Farmergal.

What a sad day.

EquineLaw78 · 10-01-2007, 03:00 PM

I'm so sorry for your losses.

I agree with the Great-Grandpa needed a kitty response. Honest, but with an understandable and comforting explanation.

That's a lot for you all to handle right now.

Thunderz Gurlz · 10-09-2007, 09:48 PM

Ditto I agree with everyone.. Tell her great grandpa needed a friend up there.

((HUGS))

jkj10209 · 10-09-2007, 09:52 PM

So sorry for your loss. I hope she can get through this situation as easily as possible. Hugs!

snickers · 10-09-2007, 10:57 PM

What a sad day for you and your family.
I am so sorry.
(((((HUGS)))))

Hideaway · 10-10-2007, 08:10 AM

I'm so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you

HoldYourHorses · 10-10-2007, 09:06 AM

Sorry for your losses, Farmergal. When I was very young- (I believe I was 6)- my dog Candy had been let off of her chain (by the neighbor's boy) & got hit by a car & died. My parents told me what had happened & I'm glad they did, because I got to remember all the good things about her. So, I would say to tell her and just let her remember the good things about her little kitten. Again, very sorry for your losses...

Jaime <><

Nikknock · 10-10-2007, 09:25 AM

Passing on my condolences to you and your family for your loss. As for your granddaughter, the idea of great-granddad needing company in heaven is such a sweet and simple explanation for a lil' girl to deal with a double loss like this. It's never easy to explain death to a young innocent but anything to cushion the blow without covering up is best IMO.

(((((HUGS)))))

farmergal · 10-24-2007, 08:53 AM

Kids

it seams they never react the way you think they would.

I didn't bring the subject up, I thought it best not to. My granddaughter was having a very difficult time dealing with her great grandpa's passing. Then her mom last weekend thought it was high time I tell her. So I told her that a young couple didn't mean to do it and they were very sorry but China was gone. Immediately her mom blurts out that she can have one of granny's other kittens. I said she doesn't want a hand me down kitten (I have 10 but it seams they have all been claimed by someone and Daisy knew it) she wants one of her own. (What's one more cat

) So I told her mommy or granny would get her one but she would have to be patient. We didn't want just any Ole kitten, that it would be a special one. That answer seamed to satisfy her and she ran off to play.

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09-29-2007, 09:27 PM
farmergal Seasoned Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: New York Posts: 4,926	Why tonight lord why tonight On one of the toughest days my granddaughter (age 6) has ever had to deal with. She said her final goodbyes to her great grandpa today. That was a very big load for a little girl with the heart of gold. And now I have to tell her that her kitten China got hit by a car. Of all the kittens why China. I just don't understand. I'm so glad that she was not here. Ken came and got her so she could spend the night at his house. That I am thankful for. The couple was so apologetic. I told them that we had just come home from a funeral and I didn't want my granddaughter to see her so the man helped me hide her til I can get her properly disposed of. I'll take China outback and bury her tomorrow. I'm just not sure if I should tell my granddaughter and have her be a part or just tell her she's gone. I'm expecting her tomorrow afternoon. China was a very affectionate kitten with a chainsaw purr. I'm going to miss her "in your face" attitude. __________________

09-29-2007, 09:31 PM
OhBaby,Vega Halter broke Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: East Tennessee Posts: 120	My condolences on both occasions, many prayers and thoughts headed that way __________________ I went to the woods because I wanted to live deliberately. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life. . .to put to rout all that was not life; and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.

09-29-2007, 09:35 PM
gingerfleguel Kid Safe Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Ottawa Posts: 5,502	Sooo sorry about this ((((HUGS)))) as for telling your daughter the truth....I would say avoid it ....unless she asks....like you said just tell her that the kitten has ran away ....My dad used that on me when i was a little girl ...but as you grow older you definately realize...but then you are old enough to understand...she is already going through a tough event in her life with her grandpa you dont want to add more stress ...Best of luck to you

09-29-2007, 09:40 PM
HorseMomToSage Coming two Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: A Whole Other Country-TX Of Course Posts: 1,501	I worked Victim's Assistance with the Sheriff's Office in my county and I agree with Ginger. It may not be something she is up for, the rule was always that you know your child best and you know her level of understanding and to tailor it. One note, don't refer to death as "sleeping" a lot of people do this and it can make the child scared to go to sleep. You are her Nana and obviously love her so you will make the right decision-my heart aches that this happened at a time when there was already so much grief-perhaps her motor boat purr was needed for someone upstairs. You and your family are in my prayers.

09-29-2007, 09:43 PM
gbarmranch Administrator Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Mayberry Posts: 29,584	I am so sorry.. you have had enough to deal with without this.. I would not tell her either - just that the kitty must have wandered away - she is so young, I am sure that a little white lie will be foregiven.. __________________ Quality Foundation Quarter Horses http://home.earthlink.net/~vpgann As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point in the wrong direction.

09-29-2007, 09:49 PM
gingerfleguel Kid Safe Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Ottawa Posts: 5,502	ya know whats really weird...is that today we just gave away a kitten that was identical to that one...infact I think i have a picture of it here somewhere....here

09-29-2007, 09:52 PM
farmergal Seasoned Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: New York Posts: 4,926	I think you may be right. A little white lie might be what's needed. I don't however agree that saying it ran away is the answer. If the kitten loved her why would it run away. I think I'll tell her that she must be around here someplace. Maybe out catching mice. And yes it could be that she was needed in heaven. Great grandpa loved cats. __________________

09-29-2007, 10:28 PM
TxHorseMom Greenbroke Member Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Texas Posts: 3,034	As said before, you know best, but I think I would try to be as honest as possible, without getting graphic. Grandpa needing a kitty might be the way to go. I'm so sorry that your're going through all of this.

09-30-2007, 11:00 AM
recklesshoundog Started Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: NY Posts: 2,549	I agree just telling her she went to be with grandpa in heaven will be fine. She's probably so numb right now it will all just blend together. Hugs to you and the little one for a rough week.

09-30-2007, 07:49 PM
Bandit Coming two Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Central Kentucky Posts: 1,869	I would also say that the kitten went to be with grandpa. If you tell her the kitten ran away she may continue to hold on to the hope that the kitten will come home. __________________

09-30-2007, 08:27 PM
Pony express Started Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Mid Michigan Posts: 2,583	How sad, I'm so very sorry for both your losses. __________________ I don't regret the things I've done. I regret the things I didn't do when I had the chance.

09-30-2007, 08:49 PM
divinemisselle Super Moderator Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Central Kentucky Posts: 6,662	(((hugs))) all the way around for you and yours, Farmergal. What a sad day. __________________ . If Everything Seems to Be Going Right... You Have Obviously Overlooked Something. ~Steven Wright

10-01-2007, 03:00 PM
EquineLaw78 Yearling Member Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 976	I'm so sorry for your losses. I agree with the Great-Grandpa needed a kitty response. Honest, but with an understandable and comforting explanation. That's a lot for you all to handle right now.

10-09-2007, 09:48 PM
Thunderz Gurlz Seasoned Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: South West Michigan Posts: 4,202	Ditto I agree with everyone.. Tell her great grandpa needed a friend up there. ((HUGS)) __________________ ~If you climb in the saddle, be ready for the ride~

10-09-2007, 09:52 PM
jkj10209 Yearling Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: Texas Posts: 782	So sorry for your loss. I hope she can get through this situation as easily as possible. Hugs! __________________ "Whoever said money can't buy happiness didn't know where to buy a horse."

10-09-2007, 10:57 PM
snickers Bombproof Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Twilight Zone Posts: 8,991	What a sad day for you and your family. I am so sorry. (((((HUGS))))) __________________ " You cant fix stupid " Ron White Life is to short to argue with ignorant people.

10-10-2007, 08:10 AM
Hideaway Started Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: PA Posts: 2,056	I'm so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you __________________ Well Behaved Women Rarely Make History

10-10-2007, 09:06 AM
HoldYourHorses Weanling Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Lakeland Posts: 423	Sorry for your losses, Farmergal. When I was very young- (I believe I was 6)- my dog Candy had been let off of her chain (by the neighbor's boy) & got hit by a car & died. My parents told me what had happened & I'm glad they did, because I got to remember all the good things about her. So, I would say to tell her and just let her remember the good things about her little kitten. Again, very sorry for your losses... Jaime <>< __________________ Are the things you're living for worth Christ dying for? Think about it.

10-10-2007, 09:25 AM
Nikknock Long Yearling Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Fruitland Park, FL Posts: 1,127	Passing on my condolences to you and your family for your loss. As for your granddaughter, the idea of great-granddad needing company in heaven is such a sweet and simple explanation for a lil' girl to deal with a double loss like this. It's never easy to explain death to a young innocent but anything to cushion the blow without covering up is best IMO. (((((HUGS))))) __________________ When life gets complicated and full of st...go clean a stall and rid the world of some of it!!!**

10-24-2007, 08:53 AM
farmergal Seasoned Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: New York Posts: 4,926	Kids it seams they never react the way you think they would. I didn't bring the subject up, I thought it best not to. My granddaughter was having a very difficult time dealing with her great grandpa's passing. Then her mom last weekend thought it was high time I tell her. So I told her that a young couple didn't mean to do it and they were very sorry but China was gone. Immediately her mom blurts out that she can have one of granny's other kittens. I said she doesn't want a hand me down kitten (I have 10 but it seams they have all been claimed by someone and Daisy knew it) she wants one of her own. (What's one more cat ) So I told her mommy or granny would get her one but she would have to be patient. We didn't want just any Ole kitten, that it would be a special one. That answer seamed to satisfy her and she ran off to play. __________________