Hard time telling barn owner I want to leave

babydoggy · 07-10-2008, 09:31 PM

I like the barn that I am in but it just gets way too lonely. At times I am the only boarder and there is just nobody to talk to or to ride with or to help if you have a question. The owner is nice but only there in the evening and during the Summer she is off. When she is off she does not stop talking. I have it either one way or the other. Either without anybody or with a talking machine. When I am there with her she literally follows me around and talks and talks ( a lot about former boarders). Kind woman but not happy middle.

I looked at a great barn down the road. Big barn. Nice people. More money. More facilities and the ability to take lessons and ask questions. I gave them a deposit and will have to give my present barn notice this week.

How do I do that. She is so intimidating - even to a grown woman -. I have cold feet and avoided going there this week.....help !

Mav2007 · 07-10-2008, 09:34 PM

Just keep it simple and tell you your leaving to go to a bigger barn with more amenities. Tell her thanks for her time and for taking good care of your horse while you were a boarder.

BornToRide · 07-10-2008, 09:37 PM

Tell her that she has been a wonderful manager, thank her for all she has done, and just tell her you want to go somewhere with more people...
she will be understanding of that, I am sure

paso_lover · 07-11-2008, 08:12 AM

Why not tell her in writing??

EquineAlberta · 07-11-2008, 10:32 PM

"You know, i have been really wanting to start showing and I think I need to be in lessons and at a show barn to do it...I am going to be moving my horse to XYZ stables at the end of the month to give it a try! I am so excited but nervous to as I really like the care you give my horse"

Karen

**seerfarm** · 07-12-2008, 06:44 AM

I agree that a good barn will be one that has the best interest of the horse and its owner at heart. Be honest, and thankful for her time and care, and leave it at that. If the above is true, she should be understanding and you will part ways on an even accord.

Sunlei · 07-12-2008, 06:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EquineAlberta

"You know, i have been really wanting to start showing and I think I need to be in lessons and at a show barn to do it...I am going to be moving my horse to XYZ stables at the end of the month to give it a try! I am so excited but nervous to as I really like the care you give my horse"

Karen

That;s a very good idea on how to tell the barn owner you're moving. Seems a shame that there is noone to ride with at your barn. I can think of worse things than a chattie person

horselady · 07-12-2008, 07:00 AM

Tell her as nicely as you can tht you want to go to the larger barn because of the lessons and shows that you want to start doing. also how nice your horse has been taken care of but the time to move on is now, ask if it would be alright to stop in and do so,. She does sound like a nice person, just running a quiet facility.

redboy · 07-12-2008, 07:20 AM

And, don't be afraid to say, " If I'm not happy there (new place), would she allow you to come back". Sounds strange, but my point is, don't burn a bridge. You might find that, once you get to the other place, you liked quiet better. Always keep your options open.
Good Luck, Redboy

tallyho · 07-12-2008, 08:55 AM

and TAKE HER A PRESENT!!!........maybe a pic of you and your horse in a plastic sleeve that can be hung in the barn, with a caption that reads how you'll miss them/remember them.....

or a tin of cookies, or a cute sign for the barn, something horsey related, like.......horse lovers are stable people......

that way, you soften the blow, AND keep a good relationship

strayacres · 07-12-2008, 02:16 PM

You could also give her a letter of recommendation for her to use for any potential boarders as to the good care she gave your equine and how badly you miss her and the barn. It's not always a bad thing to move - just hard for everyone involved emotionally etc.. Sometimes it's the best thing that could happen for every party involved. Good Luck at your new location

anglojumper · 07-17-2008, 04:17 PM

My advice would be to do it in writing but make sure it is what you really want deep down. Make sure you weigh all the pro's and con's. I think we always want what we do not have, I recently wanted to move up in my showing and so I left a barn and regret it on a daily basis now that my horse is sold (wasnt the horse for me) and am training several young horses in a barn that doesnt feel like home.

Can you do it as a trial? maybe ride at the new barn a bit before you decide to leave? sometimes a quiet barn is a blessing! I sure miss a quiet arena now that I'm at a busy one etc! sometimes super busy barns come with super big politics!

grullatobiano · 07-17-2008, 05:05 PM

I agree with the present idea. It doesn't have to be big, but that way instead of seeing an empty spot where you used to be, she can see a photo of your horse at her place or something. Just a little thank you for the good care she gave your horse.

I have a horse who has been living at the vet's house for almost a month. I am definitely going to give her something to remember us by

She's been great with my horse and hasn't charged me too much for the service!

I think sometimes people dwell too much on leaving/returning to a barn. It doesn't have to be dramatic or traumatic, just friendly and businesslike. Don't be too upset if she tries to convince you to stay, just stick with your reason, and leave on nice terms.

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07-10-2008, 09:31 PM
babydoggy Newborn Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: New Jersey Posts: 42	Hard time telling barn owner I want to leave I like the barn that I am in but it just gets way too lonely. At times I am the only boarder and there is just nobody to talk to or to ride with or to help if you have a question. The owner is nice but only there in the evening and during the Summer she is off. When she is off she does not stop talking. I have it either one way or the other. Either without anybody or with a talking machine. When I am there with her she literally follows me around and talks and talks ( a lot about former boarders). Kind woman but not happy middle. I looked at a great barn down the road. Big barn. Nice people. More money. More facilities and the ability to take lessons and ask questions. I gave them a deposit and will have to give my present barn notice this week. How do I do that. She is so intimidating - even to a grown woman -. I have cold feet and avoided going there this week.....help !

07-10-2008, 09:34 PM
Mav2007 Long Yearling Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Wisconsin Posts: 1,430	Just keep it simple and tell you your leaving to go to a bigger barn with more amenities. Tell her thanks for her time and for taking good care of your horse while you were a boarder.

07-10-2008, 09:37 PM
BornToRide Long Yearling Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Tennessee Posts: 1,450	Tell her that she has been a wonderful manager, thank her for all she has done, and just tell her you want to go somewhere with more people... she will be understanding of that, I am sure __________________ There's something about the outside of a horse that's good for the inside of a man.-Winston Churchill

07-11-2008, 08:12 AM
paso_lover Seasoned Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Sudbury Ontario Canada Posts: 4,438	Why not tell her in writing?? __________________ "I wish I was half the rider she thinks she is" \"Some people feel compelled to cut off the heads of others in order to make themselves appear taller\" ---Paramahansa Yoginanda

07-11-2008, 10:32 PM
EquineAlberta Seasoned Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Alberta, Canada Posts: 4,421	"You know, i have been really wanting to start showing and I think I need to be in lessons and at a show barn to do it...I am going to be moving my horse to XYZ stables at the end of the month to give it a try! I am so excited but nervous to as I really like the care you give my horse" Karen __________________ Hillside Stable, Ardrossan, AB Do unto others as you would have them do unto you...is it really that hard?

07-12-2008, 06:44 AM
seerfarm Super Moderator Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Portal, Ga Posts: 7,697	I agree that a good barn will be one that has the best interest of the horse and its owner at heart. Be honest, and thankful for her time and care, and leave it at that. If the above is true, she should be understanding and you will part ways on an even accord. __________________ "To know the road ahead, ask those coming back".

07-12-2008, 07:00 AM
horselady Greenbroke Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: albany new york Posts: 3,218	Tell her as nicely as you can tht you want to go to the larger barn because of the lessons and shows that you want to start doing. also how nice your horse has been taken care of but the time to move on is now, ask if it would be alright to stop in and do so,. She does sound like a nice person, just running a quiet facility. __________________ www.rainbow-horse-retirement.com We love and take care of your companion for the remainder of his lifetime

07-12-2008, 07:20 AM
redboy Yearling Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Eastern Shore of Maryland Posts: 886	And, don't be afraid to say, " If I'm not happy there (new place), would she allow you to come back". Sounds strange, but my point is, don't burn a bridge. You might find that, once you get to the other place, you liked quiet better. Always keep your options open. Good Luck, Redboy

07-12-2008, 08:55 AM
tallyho Long Yearling Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Trappe, PA Posts: 1,105	and TAKE HER A PRESENT!!!........maybe a pic of you and your horse in a plastic sleeve that can be hung in the barn, with a caption that reads how you'll miss them/remember them..... or a tin of cookies, or a cute sign for the barn, something horsey related, like.......horse lovers are stable people...... that way, you soften the blow, AND keep a good relationship

07-12-2008, 02:16 PM
strayacres Halter broke Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: MI Posts: 197	You could also give her a letter of recommendation for her to use for any potential boarders as to the good care she gave your equine and how badly you miss her and the barn. It's not always a bad thing to move - just hard for everyone involved emotionally etc.. Sometimes it's the best thing that could happen for every party involved. Good Luck at your new location __________________ Mikkii

07-17-2008, 04:17 PM
anglojumper Weanling Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Edmonton Posts: 419	My advice would be to do it in writing but make sure it is what you really want deep down. Make sure you weigh all the pro's and con's. I think we always want what we do not have, I recently wanted to move up in my showing and so I left a barn and regret it on a daily basis now that my horse is sold (wasnt the horse for me) and am training several young horses in a barn that doesnt feel like home. Can you do it as a trial? maybe ride at the new barn a bit before you decide to leave? sometimes a quiet barn is a blessing! I sure miss a quiet arena now that I'm at a busy one etc! sometimes super busy barns come with super big politics! __________________ Gode Du Bois ( Matador du Bois X Godewind) 2005 16hh Selle Francais gelding

07-17-2008, 05:05 PM
grullatobiano Weanling Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Red Deer Posts: 288	I agree with the present idea. It doesn't have to be big, but that way instead of seeing an empty spot where you used to be, she can see a photo of your horse at her place or something. Just a little thank you for the good care she gave your horse. I have a horse who has been living at the vet's house for almost a month. I am definitely going to give her something to remember us by She's been great with my horse and hasn't charged me too much for the service! I think sometimes people dwell too much on leaving/returning to a barn. It doesn't have to be dramatic or traumatic, just friendly and businesslike. Don't be too upset if she tries to convince you to stay, just stick with your reason, and leave on nice terms.